How to live a fulfilling life?
I just wish I could sleep forever. At least my dreams are interesting.
It feels like all I do is work, then go home and do chores, then sleep and do it all over again.
On the weekends I need to spend most of one of the days just napping and then there's just one day left for anything fun.
I don't really have friends or anything to look forward to during the week and diamond painting doesn't feel as fulfilling as it once did.
There was a time I didn't feel like this when I REALLY should have. Like I actually had a reason to feel depressed and like things wouldn't get better. But I didn't. Not in this soul crushing way.
It's been really really bad these past few days. I think this extra depressed feeling is linked to my cycle because it tends to happen about a week before my period.
I just want to be happy, or content, or fulfilled.
The only time I ever felt like that is when I had a month of paid leave before a surgery and could go nap. to the beach, or go indoor rock climbing whenever I wanted.
And then after my surgery when I also didn't have to work I still didn't want to stop existing (even though I couldn't even walk. Swallow, close my eye all the way, or even read)
I don't understand.
Obviously that lifestyle is not an actual option.