My husband texted girls again after promised he would change
We have been married for almost 3 years and have a beautiful daughter. Last year, I found out he had been subscribed to dating app, and it has been going on for 2 years. The account was deleted before I found out so I did not know exactly what actually happened. He told me that he has never met anyone. When he was bored, he would go to the dating to swipe and talk to girls only. He knew that it was wrong and it was something inside him that he could not control. I decided to trust him and did not dig deeper.
6 months later, I found out during that 2 years not only he was on dating app, he messaged escort girls when I was away on business trip. From the chat, he booked but then never sent them the address. He explained to me that when he is horny, he wanted some validation and it would make him feel good. I later found out that those girls on dating app, he would sexting with them, ask them to send nudes photos and pay them money. It feels like the more I know, the more disgusted I feel. He cried, begged me not to leave, and he would do anything to regain my trust and make me happy. I cannot believe why someone would be able to say that while hiding half the truth from me. He has never told me about these details until I showed him evidence of the sexting photos.
It changed everything that I know about my husband, and really made me question my own judgement. Part of me still believed that he is a good person, and it might be something he struggled with. So I decided that we would work on our marriage again. For the past 6 months, we have tried to work on a lot of issue in our marriage but have not engaged in therapy yet.
Last weekend, I found out that for his upcoming trjp, he messaged escort girls in that city. He deleted those chat so I could not tell what he actually texted them. He told me that it would be the same as those chat I read before, he started the conversation then ghost people.
I told myself 6 months ago that I don’t want to have the same conversation few months or even years later. If he does not change, that would be the end of us. Here I am again! This would happen when you decide to trust a cheater again.
This time he told me that it is a bigger issue than he thought and he has already booked an appointment for therapy for his porn addiction. I am not sure if this gonna change anything.
I went for my own therapy to navigate through the upcoming divorce and my therapist suggested that we should go for couple therapy even just one session then I can decide. Leaving or staying, both are equally hard, and even harder with a baby.
I don’t think I would ever be happy with him like I was before. I really look at him different now. But at the same time, it feels like if I don’t try to work on this, then my daughter would suffer growing up without a father.