Coming out as I begin my career (Do it or Wait?)
Hello!
I am finishing up my residency (yay!) and am getting ready to apply for a job. I live at home with a mother who refuses to discuss my being trans since I came out to her like 3-4 years ago. My extended family has no clue and my grandmother (who is already the most anxious person I know) would have panic attacks if she found out.
I have been doing my internships and residency by my birth name and AGAB, which sucks obvs but I was worried about being unable to graduate because of transphobia (regardless of how likely that would be). So now I know multiple people in my industry by my birth name and AGAB.
My hope is to come out now that I have secured my degree. The problem comes in my family. I'm okay with coming out to my industry and whatever consequences come with it, good or bad. But I live with my mom and can't exactly leave my house in clothes that make me feel comfortable. And I have to worry that if I do find a job where I can be myself that someone a family member will look at their website and see my picture with a different name and 'the wrong' clothes. In my heart I know the best thing is to just stick it out with the lie until I can live on my own. At least I will have a safe place to escape if my secret is discovered.
My friends all know I am trans and are awesome. But besides for them and my ma, that's really it.
I'm really just looking for advice on whether it is possible to both keep this a secrete but also be out at the same time.
Fyi, my field is one that pretty much no one but my grandmother might need me. Currently she is getting her services from someone else and would not come to my place of work if I work in Manhattan (we live in long island and it's a pain to travel between the two)
Has anyone had this situation? All advice is good advice, thank you kindly!