Paano?
Do you guys feel it too? Kung oo, paano? Paano niyo nilalabanan?
The flame I once had, was... no mere flame. It was a wildfire. Just like most of my peers, I attended rallies, outreached, volunteered, campaigned, and most importantly, minahal [at hopefully, minamahal] ko ang Pilipinas. But slowly, what was once ablaze, has been silently succumbing and drowning in the flood of hopelessess.
For the past few days, it has been news after news after news... after news. Internationally, a war has errupted. The prices soared. Locally, a coup was staged. An escape was made. And just last night, I heard the senators I was rooting for were removed their chairmanships.
Paano?
Sabi nila, "Kapag mahal mo, pipiliin mo."
Pero, would you keep choosing someone that keeps on disappointing you, that leeches off of you, and the worst, who cheats you?
Sometimes, you'd wish sana hindi nalang. Sana hindi ka nalang lumaban noon. Sana you remain within what you considered comfortable, na sana... Sana apolitical ka nalang.
Snaa nga apolitical nalang ako. Pero paano? Paano mo pipiliing hindi pumili, kung lahat ng mga nangyayari nagmumula sa mga taong nakaupo?
Presyong hindi makontrol. Kalsadang pang-rollercoaster. Sahod kong puro kaltas.
Don't even get me started with the transporation system. Oh, the PH transportation system!
Every morning, we wake up to the safest and most reliable transporation in the planet! [This is sarcasm for my lovely folks out there.] You'd line up for a P2P UV Express just to get the nearest MRT station. Tapos once you get to the rails, you'd have to line up again!
And it's not like you're commuting for free.
Oh, the patience you had to have. The heat you have to endure. Aalis kang bahay papuntang office na naka blue. 'Pag dating mo, darker shade of blue na... sa sobrang pawis.
The things you have to stomach everyday, just to survive. To work.
How do you know your country's doomed? When it's fucking 6 AM in the morning, and all you're stressing over is whatever clownery the Philippine politics is up to again today. Hahaha.
I'm sorry. I do not mean to pass this internal conflict I am having to everyone else. It's just that I had always thought my love for this country is reliable. It always has been. Ngayon lang talaga.
I'm here to seek y'all's advice. Sabi nga diba, "Ang namulat ay hindi na ulit pipikit." Pero hindi naman sinabing hindi napapagod. Napapagod din. At ngayong pagod na, magpapahinga. Pero sana, hindi susuko.
So, I guess, the point of this post is to ask: Sa mga taong hindi pa pagod, paano? Paano niyo patuloy na minamahal ang bansang ito?
Happy Sunday, everyone.
[P.S., I'm posting it here, not in my other socmed accounts, because I do not want my friends to see this. I was once a very active student leader, and now a *someone* in finance. I do not want to see them see me like this. They should keep their fire burning.]