r/RantAndVentPH

Guy I am currently dating told me he feels like I might have assaulted him, but he doesn't know if he:

1. should be calling me out for it
2. if he's only overthinking
3. if he deserves an apology
4. he misread the situation

I want to fix the situation. I feel so bad. And it was never my intention for such things to happen. What do I do?

Context: | (25f) am dating someone (31m) for a month now, and we have been intimate multiple times this month. Very makulit ang dynamic namin.
We would makeout a lot too.

Recently, I stayed at his place and made out several times. Andaming kulitan, kwentuhan, etc. One time I was laying on top of him when I was about to go home, I accidentally hit his groin with my knee. It took him ten minutes to recover. He wasn't talking to me. I was so apologetic. In the end, he told me we were fine. Everything is fine.

But fast forward... things weren't fine talaga. He started giving me such a cold treatment the day after. I asked him about it, and dun ko na nga nalaman na may something talaga.

He told me that the hit to the groin made him realize something. He realized he was rejecting my excessive physical contact (making out) the entire day that day. He's already stopped me midway, tried to make jokes, and physically distanced himself but I didn't SEE THROUGH HIS BODY LANGUAGE.

He blames himself for NOT SAYING NO.

Now he doesn't know what to make of the situation.
Everything really has been going so well between us. It's just so fucked up of me na I didn't see through his body language and cues. I've been raped and assaulted na before and dealing with this is fucking me in the head. I never wanted to make anybody let alone him feel this way. I was too unsuspecting of my actions. I didn't notice it was making him uncomfortable na. I feel so guilty and regretful of my actions, and I have no idea how to fix things other than giving him space to think if he still wants to pursue the relationship. To me, it looked like he was just being playful and I was having fun lang din. I had no idea I was already getting overboard with my actions.

I really, really blame myself for not seeing his body language na ayaw na niya pala. I know we could’ve communicated, but I still failed to see his physical cues. I blame myself for everything that happened.

We tried talking through it sa chat, and since it's very fresh... Both of us are still in emotional distress. He told me he will talk to me about his conclusion the moment we see each other again (we both do not know when). But that's most likely next week.

I apologized profusely, acknowledged that whatever he is feeling is valid, owning up to the fact na l didn't consider his body language and cues na ayaw niya pala ng physical contact, and that I will be very very mindful and careful next time about him, myself, and the room. I also said na from here on, I would rather he initiates physical contact first kasi I would be too terrified to even try na. I told him he can take his time in responding to me. He can process things until okay na.

The thing is, napareflect din ako sa sexual activities namin and I happened to overlook na he did some things too that made me feel violated. I had no idea where to draw the line between giving consent and just letting things happen. I opened it up to him, and said na still the focus should be on him. Napaisip lang ako ng mga nagawa namin, and I was reflecting. But he flat out rejected it. He isn’t responding anymore.

I dont know what to do.

Medyo matagal na to pero everytime na naaalala ko naiinis ako. Meron kasi kaming "kamag-anak" sa probinsya na buong angkan ata gustong idikit ang pangalan sa pamilya namin. Nung nagpakasal yung nanay at tatay, Ninong sa kasal yung father ko. Ang parents ko may pera talaga pero retired na both kaya di basta basta ang pera, pinag iisipan san gagastusin.

Nung kasal nila, parents ko sumagot nung pambayad sa simbahan (ganun daw sa probinsya, not sure), voluntary? NO. Nagdemand? OO hahaha! Nabuntis yung babae (kamag anak raw namin) at gusto kunin na Ninang/Ninong yung parents ko. Ang sabi ng father ko, iba naman daw kunin kasi nga sila na sa kasal, pati ba naman daw sa anak. Aba ang g@ga, ako ang kinuha na Ninang ng anak nya. Biglaan b3h, nilista muna sa simbahan bago nagsabi??? Sinabi ng father ko na yung kapatid ko na lang na nandun rin sa probinsya ang kunin na godparent kasi di rin naman ako makakauwi dahil di naman ako tambay lang dito samin. Hala ayaw, ang sabi raw sa father ko "yung anak mo na lang na taga-Manila" kingin@ HAHAHAHAHA

Side story lang, malaki na ko nung umuwi ako sa probinsya and kilala as "taga-Manila". Matic kasi pag taga-Manila, mayaman. San nyo ba nakuha yang lintek na mindset na yan? Take note rin, NEVER KO NAKITA YANG BABAENG KAMAG ANAK NA YAN, NI HINDI KO NGA ALAM NA NAG EEXIST PALA SILA SA MUNDO. Ako rin pinabayad nila dun sa gagastusin sa simbahan. EH PUT@ ALAM NILA ESTUDYANTE AKO, NEVER SINABI NG PARENTS KO NA MAY WORK AKO KASI ALAM NILA NA GANYAN UGALI, UMAY TALAGA.

Ending, kapatid ko yung umattend as proxy ko and ako pa rin nakalista na godparent sa simbahan. Kayo, as parents, kukunin nyo ba na godparent yung tao na never nyo naman nakilala o nakausap? Crazy. Wala akong anak pero alam ko na never ko gagawin yan HAHAHAHA

Eto na, yung malupit na part HAHAHAHA umuuwi kami dun every Christmas season then one-time, yung grandparent nung bata tumambay sa may tapat bahay namin nang matagal na oras, wala naman syang kausap dun or ano, nakaupo lang sya sa upuan sa ilalim ng puno sa tapat namin (sakop pa rin ng lupa ng parents ko). Late na namin napansin kasi syempre nagse-celebrate kami sa loob ng bahay namin. Sabi ng father ko bigyan ko na lang daw para ibigay sa inaanak ko, after mabigyan beh umalis na HAHAHAA so tumambay sya don hoping na mapansin at mabigyan ng pera ang apo nya huhu

Sama pa rin talaga ng loob ko na ginawa akong Ninang biglaan. Wala akong problema maging Ninang pero sa di ko naman kilala? T@ngina pano yon? Like walang connection and all? Paano ko iga-guide yan eh kahit parents di ko nga kilala. Ginagawa ko na lang, binibigyan ko ng regalo at di ako nag aabot ng pera, para sure na sa bata mapupunta talaga at di sa parents na feeling ko ginawang business ang anak jusq

If you'll say na sana di na lang pinansin ng parents ko, sana nga. Sinabihan ko na sila pero syempre ayaw rin nila ma-tsismis na matapobre, mayabang or kung ano ano pa. Tsaka may edad na parents ko, ayoko na sila bigyan pa ng kaaway o kagalit dahil lang dyan. And yes, I know na walang kasalanan yung bata, di ko naman sinisisi, kairita lang yung parents.

Yung nagsimula kayo sa nsfw then naging sweet din sa isa't isa after ng ilang araw. Ilang beses ko (30F) namang sinasabi na mataba ako at hindi ako kaputian, hindi talaga ko maganda and aware na aware naman ako sa sarili ko. Lagi naman niya sinasabi na wala siyang preference, or wala siyang pake sa physical appearance kasi mas preferred niya yung kawavelength niya and I think nagmeet naman kami sa gitna kung tungkol dun.

Kaso eto na nga nagkasabikan na kami magreveal ng itsura. Nakita ko siya and for me sakto lang, pero I always told him na napopogian naman ako sa kanya, and pinupuri ko every part of his body including his insecurities para di siya mahiya. Tapos nung turn ko na, ay! biglang tumabang siya sakin beh. Pagkakita niya hindi pa nga nagtatagal sabi agad "cute ka nga eh" tapos, ayun na yon. Dumalang na ang replies.

Alam ko naman na hindi tayo lahat gugustuhin sa itsura, pero ang sakit pa rin pala. Iniiwasan ko magpaapekto pero nasa loob pa din yung kirot. Help.. huhu

Just watched the recent Insidious film and last full show yung pinanooran namin. Medyo late na nagsimula pero okay lang naman samin (kasi para sakin mas late mas maganda kasi nakakatakot pag labas ng malls lol). Pagka start ng film, rinig na rinig mo yung tunog ng lalagyanan ng popcorn everywhere, as in first half ng movie di mo masyado maintindihan yung film kasi puro crumpling noises. Sobrang annoying na yun tapos isabay mo pa yung crowd, jusko. Ang iingay mag kwentuhan, buong movie may nagk-kwentuhan at nagtatawanan. Okay lang sakin yung tilian at sigawan lalo na kung horror movie naman yung pinapanood, pero yung halos buong movie may maririnig kang humahalakhak at nagkkwentuhan nang malakas, mapipikon ka talaga. Sa mga parts ng gulatan, may mga biglang manggugulat pa sa crowd na para bang sila lang nanonood. Yung mga phones ayaw din patayin, may notif nang notif, flash nang flash. Inis na inis ako. Sa harapan ko naman, may nakatapon ng popcorn. Hindi ko alam pano natapon yun pero siguro sa sobrang squammy ng crowd, nagawan nila ng paraan matapon yun. Gustong gusto ko na sigawan yung mga tao nun kung hindi lang ako magv-viral. Pag labas namin may mga iba ding nagpaparinig na “Diba sila yun, yung mga maiingay” Hindi ko tuloy na enjoy yung movie dahil dun.

Please, practice cinema etiquette!
Okay mag react pero wag naman sobra sobra na parang nagpapapansin na.
Mas maganda manood ng horror pag may scene na nagbubuild ng thrill, tahimik at walang nagtatawanan.

I'm a single mom, 30F, and I live in a village na bantay naman ng security mga lumalabas at pumapasok.

Today, I was walking with my son and his yaya to my car. A truck filled with construction workers honked at us, stared, then started laughing and drove away. OA ba ako na feeling ko hindi tama 'yon? Even my son's yaya said that felt wrong.

I asked the security guard kung kaninong construction site yung bahay na 'yon, and he told me the block and lot number.

Fast-forward, I asked my lola to file the complaint sa owner mismo para mapagsabihan yung mga trabahador nila kasi bagong site lang sila. The engineer was defending his construction workers, saying they were just honking kasi we were in the way, pero nasa gilid kami and hawak ko anak ko nang maayos. I hate being gaslighted na parang ako pa yung may mali.

This is only the second time I spoke up about squammy harassment, and same pa rin ang outcome.

When I was in college, a security guard who was checking my bag looked down at my shorts and said, "Ang sexy mo talaga, Ma'am." I immediately told my dad, who was waiting for me in another store, and sinugod niya yung security guard.

The security guard started gaslighting me again, saying he didn't say that, and I started to doubt what I heard. But my dad said, "Wag. Trust what you heard, lalo na sa mga ganyang bagay." The security guard made a scene and said he'd quit na lang, and it looked like my dad was the bad guy. People even started videoing him when he was only defending his daughter, who was a minor at that time.

Pa-rant lang because I'm tired of this misogynistic world. Tapos I have this small fear in the back of my head na baka gantihan ako sa loob ng village nung mga kupal na trabahador.

I just want to feel safe inside my own village.

F*CK YOU PHILIPPINES. Isang malutong na pakyu - mula sa incompetent na gobyerno hanggang sa mga bob0tante. Bayaran nanaman ng quarterly income tax. Grabe, ang sakit at hirap i-let go yong perang pinaghirapan mo para sa kawalang kwentang serbisyo.

Hindi ko tinataas yong rates/pricing sa business ko kasi alam kong hirap din yong iba pero pataas ng pataas ang binabayaraan kong tax 🥲

Buti sana kung nagagamit ito sa tama.

Three weeks na yata ang habagat dito sa lugar namin, maya't-mayang binabaha, yong congressman namin, ngaw-ngaw ng ngawngaw sa soc med at news outlets. HOY BAHA NA PO TAYO, flaunt mo pa yang rolex mo. Ang problema, tuwing eleksyon, ang kalaban nya, ka-apelyido nya lang din. 🤦‍♀️

Yong mga kasambahay namin na nanggaling sa less privilege municipality, jusko hindi makakuha ng ayuda dahil hindi malakas sa kapitan nila? Eh right nila 'yon, pera ng taxpayers

Mula national position hanggang sa ka-barangayan, jusme wala na - wala ka nang pag-asa Pilipens. Yong better and developed Philippines, hindi sa lifetime ko na 'toh

PS. For legal purposes, magbabayad pa rin po ako ng tax kahit ansama-sama ng loob ko

Gusto ko lang mag rant. Nakakadisappoint.

Nilibre ko yung asawa ko sa massage at foot spa. Tapos after that, kumain kami. Tapos sabi niya na nagpaparinig, gusto niya daw mag beach e sabi ko sa next sahod na. Sinabi kong ayoko nang galawin yung pera ko para may savings din ako. Sabi ba naman sakin sarcastically dahil di ko pinagbigyan, "savings tapos may pamassage at foot spa ka pa?!"

Di ko pinapakialaman sahod niya as long as binabayaran niya yung responsibilities niya (rent) tapos sa kanya na lahat ng sahod niya.

Nakakagigil. Samantalang kaya di niya magawa gusto niya kasi pinangsugal at alak niya yung sahod niya e natalo sa sugal tapos walang naiwan ni piso! Ako na naman inaasahan niya sa gastos! Ni hindi ko nga pinagalitan nung ginawa niya yon dahil pera niya. Sinabi ko lang na tignan tignan niya kasi para din may savings siya.

Napaka g*go!

For context, I recently got a really bad odor in my hair it literally smells like smelly feet. The reason kaya nagkaganon is because after showering, I would wear a cap with my hair tied up kahit basa pa. For like a whole week, lagi akong nasa labas, so I’d spend hours wearing a cap with my hair tied up. I only realized how bad it was when I finally untied my hair, and it smelled SO bad. 😭

I’ve tried shampooing it so many times, pero the smell just won’t go away. Huhuhu, idk if this is the right subreddit, but I literally can’t take the smell of my hair anymore. I’m also always in an air-conditioned room, so parang kalat na kalat yung amoy. And rn, I’m scared to even untie my hair kasi baka mas lumala pa yung smell huhuhu Im also afraid to use hair spray kase baka mag talo ‘yung bad odor ng hair ko sa bango. Huhuhuh

pUT43NANG YAN!!! SHOUT OUT SA MGA PRIVATE COMPANIES DYAN AT SA GOBYERNO!!! Ano akala niyo sa aming nasa private sector, isda?? Nakakagigil lang dun sa part na goverment offices lang yung nasususpend tuwing rainy season, paano naman kaming mga nasa private sectors? Tao din ho kami na nagkakasakit, nababasa at naabala dahil sa pesteng ulan at habagat na yan. Oo, alam ko na nasa company ang desisyon kung magsususpend ng trabaho pero jusko naman, hindi naman siguro kayo manhid at bulag para hindi niyo makita kung anong kalagayan natin, ano po? Ano ba naman yung isang araw na i-suspend muna ang trabaho dahil sa malakas na ulan at matataas na baha, hindi naman siguro ikakalugi ng kompanya yun ane? Ang hirap po pumasok araw-araw sa ganitong panahon. Maawa naman kayo sa amin. PLEASE!! 🙏

Hoy mga boang kung ayaw niyo mag-hintay kung mag d-deliver kayo sa mga condo, ‘wag na kayo mag-apply. Humanap kayo ng tunay na trabaho hindi nag d-delivery rider kayo. Wala pa ngang 8 minutes nag rereklamo na mga rider kapag naghihintay. Aba malamang nag e-elevator pa kame. Ano gusto niyo kame mag-hintay sa inyong mga rider eh wala naman kameng real time tracking sa inyo. Mga privilege kayo akala niyo naman napaka importante ng trabaho niyo. ‘Wag kayo mag-alala daan-daang libo ang ready pumalit sa inyo kapag tinanggal kayo. Tsaka trabaho niyo talaga ang mag-hintay. May 15 minutes rule ang mga company na pinag t-trabahuhan niyo. Do’n kayo mag-reklamo.