u/Cold_Tip3888

This is super long but anyways.

Usually men with only daughters have that stereotype that they are the best fathers or the best men but that is NOT the case in my family. I'm the middle daughter and I am used to being ignored and I'm comforted to know a lot of middle children feel that way.

Although the eldest sister is the favorite child. I don't know why. There are a lot of excuses they give me when I point out the difference in treatment but they say "because of her tone" knowing damn well whenever my other sisters wanted to eat out we'd always ask her to ask him. I honestly think it's only because she is a people pleaser and never "talks back" to him.

The rest of us were also raised as people pleasers but we decided to speak up for ourselves at home once in a while. That's when we realized our father does not care about opinions and emotions and shoots us away whenever we express what he did hurt us.

Sometimes he thinks I'm talking back to him when I'm just communicating how I feel.

At other times he acts very interested in what my other sisters and I have to say which makes me think he's "normal now". But in general the bipolar behavior coming from him makes me so uncomfortable and unsafe that I lock my door at night out of fear. I'm talking about my dad mostly because he's the bread winner of our house and my mom just complies because she's afraid of an argument.

The favoritism he shows is just the tip of the ice berg. Over the years in public he does creepy things like dropping me off at the train station pretending he left. Only to park his car somewhere and slowly follow me to the platform. In my peripheral vision I thought it was just another dude coming onto the platform but he just stood there staring which threw me off and made me anxious.

Then I heard from the distance "dar math" which is urdu for "don't get scared" and I looked up and realized it was him. I knew then that the reason he said it in urdu was because there were other people around. And he knew how creepy it would be to say that in English. My dad and I rarely speak urdu with each other anyways. I tried to act like I wasn't weirded the fuck out so I said "oh I thought u were someone else"

I still don't know why he did that but my sister abroad said he did something similar where he visited her workplace when he was only meeting her at her apartment. And later when she came to visit us he slipped and said he had been to her workplace. She said when he realized he slipped up he quickly tried to cover it up. And that he's the kind of person to do/monitor things privately and not tell you. Which sickens me.

He's done a lot more creepy things like alluding to me dancing naked when he asked why the bathroom curtain was down. I like to dance in the bathroom with headphones and try on makeup and he said jokingly "what do u dance naked" which was REALLY weird considering how religious (Muslim) he is.

We all wear the hijab and when my younger sister and I talked to my mom about how we want to take it off he said someone along the same lines. We were having a conversation and my dad called my mom and she said we were just talking about hijab. And he said "might as well take your clothes off and run around naked".

The reason I'm writing this is because at dinner when we were opening our fast I had this weird vibe from him like I was a sore thumb he wanted to pick out. Despite all this all my life I've tried to make my family laugh and be a comedic relief. Making weird jokes, sounds, anything really to remove the tension that he radiates. If his mood is bad the whole house's mood is bad.

And today I came a little late to dinner and he was very silent so I tried talking about the juice we were drinking and how delicious it was and asking my mom to pass me this and that etc. whenever my oldest sister responded to me he immediately acted interested in the conversation yet doesn't engage with me.

I just feel stuck. I'm 21 and hes paying for my college tuition but I don't dorm and commute instead. So I feel really guilty and like maybe my expenses are the reason he's so mean to me. I didn't get into a highly rated uni/ivy League and didn't apply to them anyways yet he talks about the kids in our community who got full rides. He once said "Northeastern ne hamare bache ko nahi buli ya" which means "northeastern didn't want our kids". My older sisters went to state Universities that are well known but he said that right before praying 💀💀 our Islamic center knows him well because he participates in everything available. But I hate how he pretends to be a pious Muslim and does extra community service that makes people think he is some hot shot wonderful man. But I see him for who he really is and I wish it wouldn't haunt me.

I was riding the outbound Providence/Stoughton train tonight and in the car next to mine I heard a woman shouting at someone. It was sudden enough to get the other riders attention but not loud enough for us to decipher what the context was.

Eventually she got louder and everyone in our car was breaking their necks to try and see what was happening. We all kind of looked at each other's reaction so that was interesting. We could hear "Leave Me Alone!!" and "I don't care" Some people in my car actually got up and went towards the car she was in. Still no idea what was happening.

You could then hear "I JUST WANNA GO HOME" followed by more REALLY LOUD screaming. I heard on the radio a conductor report someone was getting harassed... and the rest was muffled. So the situation was definitely escalating and getting scary. By that time the train began to delay and the conductor apologized for it.

When my stop came the conductor opened the doors and we all got off onto the platform. I noticed multiple people stopped to talk to the conductor. The person who had left our car to see what was happening in the other car told him "I'm sorry you went through that" and that's when I realized the woman we heard screaming was screaming at him. He replied saying "it's okay" and "I'm used to it". More people listened to what he had to say about the situation. As I walked away, I heard him say it happens all the time and he laughed it off.

All this to say, I feel really bad about the fact that conductors have to deal with this. It was definitely an intense moment and I wouldn't know what I would do if I was in a situation like that.

I take this train at this time at least once a week and have interacted with him multiple times when he'd check my ticket or open the doors at each stop. But I have enough to know he's friendly, polite, and isn't the type to cause conflict. Many factors can play into this as to why she reacted that way such as a fare dispute, mental health issues, or financial stress. Either way, knowing someone got yelled at like that is rough.. especially for simply doing their job!

Huge shout-out to the mbta crew and conductors for keeping their cool under pressure and getting us home safely despite the chaos they deal with on the train. I don't think he'll see this but if you're a conductor reading this, seriously, thank you for what you do!