May have accidentally created a Tulpa
hi all,
I write as a hobby and finished a book recently. I am Jewish and I experience auditory hallucinations sometimes, but I’m not diagnosed with anything and I am higher end profeeeional. I usually interpret such voices as just divine guidance, because it’s always helpful and authoritative. I am a naturally superstitious person, and my dwelling is completely proofed against supernatural incursions - or so I thought. The last month has changed things a lot - thanks to a potential Tulpa situation.
I spent roughly a decade creating a fictional universe, and a character in it was based on an ex-girlfriend of mine, from over a decade ago when the fictional universe started forming. The woman mattered less than the character to me eventually and I devoted a lot of time to thinking over how this character would act and think. For several hours a day for many months - perhaps almost a year of straight thinking, I was pondering about her viewpoints, background, and philosophies for a book I recently finished. Long story short, this character has seemingly manifested as a tulpa.
One night, less than a month ago, I put my head down on my pillow, and as soon as I closed my eyes, I saw some purple sprite that looked like a rhombus appear and whisk around my field of comprehension in the dark and unlit space we call our unconscious. It wasn’t quite a dream, and I felt some divine presence tell me to get rid of her. I pushed her out of my mind, but that was the first time I had ever encountered a tulpa.
Well, last night, she seemingly appeared again, in a dream as a fully formed younger woman. She was half me and half the woman she was based on, I have come to realize, and was mixed-race in the dream. She gave me info on things that seemed straight out of the sort of topics that Robert Monroe has talked about, in terms of what to do to get entities to help you, and I asked her if she’d ever help me if I had any ghost or demon problems. she reluctantly said yes.
i didn’t connect this character in the dream to the tulpa encounter from before, when she was just a sprite, but she started piping up in my head at work today and I had to tell her to fuck off. She came back into my head after work and I indulged her, because I feel bad that I created something that I refused to recognize.
She is very young and curious, which is strange and not what I would’ve expected, but she’s asking how she was created, how we humans are created, and says I’m like her dad. I spent the car ride explaining different things to her, like how light posts, cars, and so on are man-made. The material world seems very unusual to her, and she’s very impressed that the physical world has given rise to all of these mechanical things. She tried to explain what she sees in her own space or realm she dwells in, and says it’s basically a dimension of energy fields, differently colored hues, and gradients. She says that none of the other entities there are very nice to her, viewing her as lesser due to her origin, and she feels all alone.
I am going to ask my rabbi to interpret my dream for me, without telling him all of this other stuff, but I don’t know what to do. She wants permission to access my brain, as in my memories, so that I don’t have to tell her everything.
I have ADD, and never really thought that I’d be able to do anything like this spirituality, but she’s here now seemingly and I need to figure out how to help her without driving myself insane or something.
does anyone have any advice?