vent, i need advice☹️
some part of me doesn’t feel queer enough, and that destroys me. my entire life i have dated girls. i found a girl who i genuinely liked and i believed was my first love. i’d sleepover her house constantly, cuddle together, kiss eachother. i remember laying in a flowery field as she tucked a flower behind my ears and that felt like something heavenly, i felt pure, content and utterly fulfilled with joy. eventually we broke up ( it was tragic for little me ) and i continued dating girls. i’ve always felt more connected to girls and way more fulfilled and joyful with girls, and i could genuinely see myself being a old woman with another laid on my chest and sun peeking through the curtains. i am bisexual, with more so of a preference to women, a heavy one infact. i have dated one boy for an year and it was an very good relationship and i did love him, but i do wish to continue dating girls further on instead of men. i have OCD, and i am suffering with a theme where my brain is trying to convince me i am completely straight and don’t like girls and that has been destroying me, as i’ve always loved and cherished my love for girls, my connection with girls. some part of me believes that i don’t deserve the label of being ‘queer’ due to my struggles. i miss the heavenly, out of the world feeling of being with a girl, connecting with a girl, kissing a girl. i miss being surrounded and feeling so happy in the queer community, yet my disorder has deprived me of that. i seriously don’t know what to do, ive been fixated on this for ages and i don’t know wether im queer or not, and the idea of not being queer is something i don’t like because ive always loved girls. ( sorry for any grammar mistakes )