u/Comfortable-Loss-482

I am a fresh 20 year old male living in the Midwest. I have recently picked up a second job, completed my first semester of community college, am struggling with a weed and nicotine addiction, am thinking about a third job in this economy, and finally I have begun to realize that the things I used to do even weeks ago to entertain myself do not bring me joy. Most of the things in my life that have brought me joy in the past two weeks simply have grown dull and I find that creating new hobbies for myself is a difficult task, not that I would currently have time to pick something up anyways. My last appointment with my counselor he told me that I can switch to biweekly because I have been doing better. But Yesterday was my 10 month anniversary with the girlfriend and of course it had to ensue a huge fight that ended up hurting the both of us over the stupidest shit. I feel like shit because she is obsessed with me yet she’s the only person who truly makes me feel like I need therapy and the only person who truly can make this calm empathetic person into a ball of rage. This is the girl that I can see the rest of my life with, who makes me happy when she’s around, yet stresses me the fuck out when we talk on the phone or over text. I mean this is the woman I’ve quit a porn addiction for yet the extra testosterone makes me stare at other women or crave a presence that is not hers. I’m just really lost right now and the only with bringing me joy is working,weed,and money at the moment and it’s fucking depressing because this was not who I was two weeks ago. It just doesn’t make sense or feel well at all. Also realizing how hard it is to meet anybody new in my life after high school, everyone is either so full of themselves and entitled or are just assholes to each other