I’ll be 30 this year and have been married going on 12 yrs in a few months. I have found myself getting irritated that he treats me like his maid. I was young and in love when we got married. I Didn’t pay attention to these things, But realized very soon it would be a problem. He’s the only boy and youngest sibling. Therefore, his mom would do EVERYTHING for him. I’ve stayed this long for our kids, as I grew up with my mother only and because I’ve been good at ignoring it (it could be worse) . He’s a good person and amazing provider, but because he is the provider I’m expected to be his maid. I feel burnt out from carrying the entire load of the house hold and parenting alone. He feels the house isn’t his responsibility and I’m not saying it is but he does absolutely nothing in this house. I’ve purposely left things on his side of the bed or night stand and will stay there until I pick them up. I’ve left his shoes where he has left them for days hoping he’ll pick them up but only does so when he needs them. He’s constantly losing things and I’m expected to know where they are. This man will do nothing. I feel more of a mother to him than his wife. As far as parenting, I parent alone. All their after school activities, I’ve always taken them. He went to one soccer game in the course of 3 seasons. He’s gone to 2 maybe 3 cheer competitions in 3 full seasons.
We do go on trips and try to take the kids to fun places. However, when we go on trips with other friends, he spends time with everyone else but us. I’m the one watching over our kids. We recently went on a cruise and felt completely alone. Seeing everyone else spending time with their partners and kids while mine was elsewhere enjoying himself.
I try and see it from the outside in and think I’m being ungrateful because the kids and I have everything we need and want. Therefore, it’s not a good enough reason to leave. But, I feel alone, burnt out from taking care of him and not being taken care of besides financially.
Also, the only time he’s affectionate is when he wants S.
I’ve tried leaving several times before but my mom always tells me I have a good man. He provides, the kids and I have everything, we live a nice life, a nice home, cars. That as long as he isn’t cheating or beating me, to make it work. My best friend tells me if I’m not happy to leave. She’s witnessed everything and has called him out. She’s basically told me I will explode one day and just leave when I’m ready.
But I’m scared. Is this even a reason to leave? 12 yrs gone? 4 kids later? Will I regret it? Will he change? Will he be a better husband? A better father? Will I be struggling after? Will he find himself someone else and give her everything? Will I find someone better? That actually cares for me in an intimate way and not just for s. I just want to be taken care of. If I’ve had a long hard day with the house and kids, step in and help. We can tackle it all together. I just need help. I want help. I’m done feeling like the house maid. Who takes care of me?