I'm considering detransitioning
I've been considering it on-and-off for a while now. The thing is, I know I'm happier living as a woman (MTF). These past couple years I have felt more confident in myself and more sure of who I am than I have in my entire life. The problem is the dysphoria. I have really severe chest dysphoria and HRT isn't helping. I feel like I'm the only girl who hasn't gotten any results. I'm on a high dose of E, I'm on Spiro, I'm on prog, but still after two and a half years I have nothing. I feel like transitioning has been a waste of my time/money all for the idea of progress. I've also been considering top surgery but it's a pain here in Canada if you aren't on MSP. The fucked-up part is no-one seems to listen since I'm decently passing and pretty attractive. I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I just want my body to line up with what I see in my head, who my ideal self is, what my proprioception expects to be there, but I'm seeing the writing on the wall; that just isn't possible. I think it would be better to just ignore my gender dysphoria and live as a miserable thing in the shape of a man than keep chasing something that will never happen.