I (28, M) and my husband (38, M) are completely opposite in our intimacy needs. We have been together for 9 years and we have a fantastic life. I started dating him when I was 20 and still in college. We have gone through a lot of life’s milestones together.
The problem is we are polar opposite in our needs for intimacy. He is perfectly fine having intercourse one maybe twice a year. He has referred to it as a “chore”. He doesn’t want anything remotely intimate almost all of the time. I have asked him flat out if he wants to have intercourse and there is always an excuse. Meanwhile my drive, I have to relieve myself at least 3 times a week just to stop from being insanely aroused all day…
I don’t know what to do. We have talked about it for years, he knows exactly how I feel about our lack of intimacy and I was prepared to leave him about a year ago and he said he would work on it, and we would make changes, nothing changed. I thought at first it was because I had gained weight (who doesn’t go through that in a relationship). I have lost 40 lbs and I feel like I am looking pretty hot again (like when we first met). I find myself imagining intercourse all the time with random guys and never with him…
AITA if I decide to leave a good guy where we are both incredibly successful in life just so I can find someone who wants to have intimate connections with me? (Backstory: I was disowned by my family after I came out and have never truly been on my own; I would be completely alone if I left.)
(PS - Open Relationship is entirely off the table on his side.)