u/Comfortable_Iron1820

yeah yeah i know it's not my business, but i know so many people who are just basically using a person to cure their boredom until someone better comes along and it always gives me a bad vibe. my friend's been seeing this dude for like 8 months even though she really has no intention of moving things to the next level. she's like "we text every day" i'm like, what? who the fuck is texting someone every day when they've no intention of committing. she's in her late 30s and allegedly wants kids btw. not unusual activity for either gender in a major city ime.

Recently relocated from multiple decades in NYC to a more rural area of the Hudson Valley, here are my observations:

• It is so much easier to feel healthier upstate. The air is cleaner, the exercise is better because it's either outside (hiking, biking, skiing) or in a nice studio that's not cramped with 300 people. No food delivery and the restaurants are limited so I cook way more at home + access to good, cheap farmer's markets is amazing.
• The paradox of choice is real, and moving somewhere that has more limited options has, I think, been good for my soul. Ask me if I wanted to see a jazz band 5 years ago I would have laughed in your face and talked about how much jazz sucks. But now since it's the only thing going on, I'm like "ooh jazz" and will happily trot over to the local cafe. I get a little rush of adrenaline when there's an event, festival, cool film, or a new restaurant opening in my area.
• NYC people seem to be exponentially more depressed, so many people in late 30s existential dread spirals. City people openly talk about being unhappy and medicated, maybe upstaters are too but they certainly don't talk about it/act mopey about it.
• City people also exponentially funnier and more social. Way better hangs, better conversationalists, better knowledge of literature/art/film. It's almost impossible to get anyone to do anything upstate, and forget about anything involving alcohol (even my friends that live walking distance are a drag about it). People skew much more health-focused and introverted up here.
• People seem generally less materialistic upstate. Nobody really cares about shopping or aesthetics outside of the terrible de facto NYC enclaves like Hudson. More athleisure and LL bean. Honestly it's great walking around and seeing less cosmetic surgery and ugly ass reformation dresses.
• Dating app stories seem equally bleak. The upstate inventory is so low my friend will see the same 6 app guys around town and it kills her. People up here don't seem any more serious about dating, and it's even bleaker because nobody goes out and the scene is smaller.
• The absence of hustle culture upstate is both annoying and refreshing. Nobody really gives a shit about making a ton of money up here, which means it can be incredibly difficult to get any sort of work done on your house, car, anything else really. I needed some work done a few weeks ago and the contractor just texted me back "no" lol.
• Out of everything I miss from upstate, my answers would be friends and food. Maybe it's the despair, but my friends in the city could always be peer pressured to hang, and people upstate just seem to enjoy slower lives and being in bed by 9. The lack of ethnic cuisine / rotating menus is also a bummer. People love tex-mex, slop italian, and "new american" up here, and it all gets old pretty quick.
• I don't really miss the art/music scene in NYC because it hasn't been good in decades And the smaller towns up here allow for more intimate, fun gigs that are way more satisfying than seeing shows at most NYC venues.