u/Comfortable_Kiwi_401

Hi,

So a bit about me - A 24M here, looking here for suggestions and serious help me out of the mess I am in. I really think I am the one who got myself into this mess and now can't get out of it.

Jerking off 2-3 times a day.. almost daily for like past, 7-8 months. Like an impulsive action. Like a routine, that I need to follow every day, every night. Consuming porn, like crazy. Watch all the crazy things, even AI shits, fantasize about the roleplay. Every worst possible thing you can think of. Feels like it has sucked life out of me. No purposeful work. No working towards any goal. Hell, I don't even know if I am doing anything apart from my 9-5 job. No friends. No social life. (Got betrayed by some friends.. that's a whole damn story.) But somehow I have made peace with the social situation. It's a lonely fucking life. Have to carry myself alone. No one will carry it for me.

Insta, Tele, Reddit, all of these, and watching all the things you can imagine. I can't even break myself from this loop. At this point, it feels like nothing excites me anymore. Can't sit down in silence even for a sec. Even when I sit down, I will get on the headphones, and get lost in the music. This is another type of addiction. I feel like I being slaved by my mind. Looking for things, and doing things, that will bring back excitement in my life, but in turn I end up lonelier than ever.

I feel like, I have lost all hope of redeeming myself. Recover myself back. I try. But I can't. I relapse. I do it, because there's nothing else that excites me anymore. But doing this, I drown in guilt. Every night, I go to sleep with a disappointment about how I have wasted my day.

I feel sorry guys, but please help me.

Edit - Added some additional details.

The conversion of a domain account to a Managed Service Account (MSA) on 10th June 2026 ~4pm. When SQL Server restarted at ~10:01 PM on 11th June following a routine crash, it required Kerberos authentication to access cluster storage volume (a Cluster Shared Volume accessed via the CSV coordinator). Kerberos had been broken since 9:30 PM (Event ID 40970). SQL Server could not open mdf and returned OS Error 5. DB entered Recovery Pending. 

icacls confirmed account held Full Control on Volume throughout the incident. The OS Error 5 was returned because Kerberos authentication failed at the CSV layer — the access denial was at the authentication level, not the permissions level. 

But what striking is that this routine SQL crash is occuring now and Cluster is restarting the SQL but still the there's no issue with kerberos failure and system running as usual. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what caused the kerberos breakdown and all the breakdown. However the service account is reverted back to domain account. (got to figure out something before the password expire after 30 days or we back to square one).

Any help will be greatly helpful. Thanks in advance.

Command: 
Get-WinEvent -LogName System |   Where-Object {     $_.TimeCreated -gt '2026-06-11 21:00:00' -and     $_.TimeCreated -lt '2026-06-11 22:00:00' -and     $_.Id -in @(40960, 40961, 40970, 1030)   } |   Select TimeCreated, Id, ProviderName, Message | Format-List

Output: 
TimeCreated  : 6/11/2026 9:30:54 PM 
Id           : 40970 
ProviderName : LsaSrv 
Message      : The Security System has detected a downgrade attempt when                contacting the 3-part SPN ldap/TPW-DCADC01.TPWODL.NET/TPWODL.NET@TPWODL.NET with error code 'The attempted logon is invalid.'                (0xc000006d). Authentication was denied.   

TimeCreated  : 6/11/2026 9:30:54 PM 
Id           : 40970 
ProviderName : LsaSrv 
Message      : The Security System has detected a downgrade attempt when                contacting the 3-part LDAP/TPW-DCADC01.TPWODL.NET/  TPWODL.NET@TPWODL.NET (0xc000006d). Authentication was denied.   

TimeCreated  : 6/11/2026 9:30:54 PM 
Id           : 1030 
ProviderName : Microsoft-Windows-GroupPolicy 
Message      : The processing of Group Policy failed. Windows attempted to                retrieve new Group Policy settings. Computers joined to the                domain must have proper name resolution and network                connectivity to a domain controller.