is it selfish to seek closure from dynamic?
I've had such a hard time enraging in kink after ending my last dynamic a couple of years ago. I've only recently identified my feelings and emotions regarding my partner and our dynamic. We haven't spoken since we ended things. We ended things positively and on a healthy note.
I've barely begun to recognize the extent of my feelings surrounding everything regarding our dynamic. I haven't been able to engage in any kink since ending things with this partner two years ago.
My question is, is it selfish to reach out to them and just let them know how I feel and what I think about everything regarding our dynamic and my feelings towards them? Is it selfish to think that this is the only way I can close and end properly this chapter of my life of this dynamic? Would you appreciate receiving a message like this? Why or why not? How do you navigate healing from a dynamic by yourself without the other person being present or available?
If I don't reach out, how can I come to terms/peace with my feelings and emotions all by myself knowing that this person no longer has a place in my life? I don't want to disrupt their life, but I also cannot escape this burning feeling that compels me to share how I feel.
Thank you for your advice and how to become a better communicator, healer, and person.
:)
ETA: I'm in therapy and have been in therapy for 10+ years. I've done the thing where I've written them a letter and burned it. It just doesn't feel like enough. I've never had this issue getting over a dynamic before, which is why I'm struggling all the more. I physically feel as if I don't tell them, I'm suppressing my emotions even more even though I can identify and exist with them. I just can't keep them to myself and don't know how to move forward with respect to both myself and to them.