Even with medication, I feel like life is too much for me, but my life as is isn't enough. All I have energy for is work (I work 39 hrs/wk) to be able to pay rent, and days off are for recovery and catching up with chores. Its ridiculous that I feel like I have no energy left to give after that, even though I'm on medication thats supposed to help my fibromyalgia, ADD, depression and anxiety. Other people can do it, so why can't I keep up?
My boyfriend isn't happy, he feels like he doesn't see me enough and that I never have enough energy to spend quality time together, that I don’t suggest enough things to do together. Hes right, I have been a subpar partner because I can barely manage life outsife of him. I love him so much and he brings joy and peace to my life, and I want to be better. He drops so much to help me, and is there for me when things are bad, he's made sacrifices and gone out of his way to help me many times within our 3 years together. I thought living together would help take the pressure off and let me see him more often, but i havent inspired enough confidence in him to make him secure in doing that, which duh, of course. I've had my head up my ass, it seems. In addition to juggling my bf, work, and chores, I also have to make time for my dad who is recently widowed and help him get his house ready to sell. I'm all he has. I feel so overwhelmed.
I just don't know how to manage my chronic fatigue while also maintaining everything else. Maybe he deserves to be with someone who can keep up with him, or maybe he just deserves to not have someone like me holding him back. I don't want to lose him, but I also dont deserbe him. I'm afraid changing up my meds will cause me to get worse one way or another, and I don't know what meds would make things better. My GP might not know either, but I'll ask to see her and make changes to my medications, because if I don't, I'll fail anyway. I'm just scared it's too late, or that I'll push him away when he sees how much more messy I can get. If I worked less hours I feel like I could actually do something with myself, but that's not going to fly at work. I hope things work out okay.