Hi, me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other since December 2025 and we made it official in February, since then we have talked a lot about doing sexual stuff, i made it very clear from the very start that im a hypersexual person because of my past trauma and that sex and sexual intimacy in general is something that is very important to me but for her it wasn’t so, she would say she doesn’t really care about it, and that she is kind of scared of intercourse as she hasn’t done it before and because of her past SA experience which is fair, understandable.
I proposed we could try doing non penetrating activities to get her comfortable slowly and she was like we’ll see but i will take me a few months at the very least and I said no pressure, take your time getting comfortable.
Today she told me that she isn’t actively working on resolving her trauma and that nothing anyone will say or do will speed it up and is not prioritizing it either, and I felt really hurt by this as i expressed it to her MULTIPLE times even before the relationship how important sex is to me and everytime in the past she has always said i want to be sexual too but she never clarified about not prioritizing resolving her trauma. I know I said that im willing to wait but i at LEAST want to see her trying to resolve her trauma?
And i feel really hurt by this and she suggested that if i cannot wait i should just break up with her and i did consider it to be honest but i really really love this girl and i genuinely do not want to let go of her, she is worth changing for and i believe that whole heartedly but do i really want to sacrifice my needs ESPECIALLY when i made them clear MULTIPLE times in the past and every time she’s told me that yes she wants to be sexual? Can anyone please help me through this im feeling very lost and conflicted right now.
(P.S. we do make out with clothes on and thats it)