u/Comfortable_Type_777

I’ve been a top performer at my tech company for 5 years and am currently aiming for promotion this year. I work remotely, but I’m known for being "always on" and starting early (7:30 AM).

I start IVF stims next week. Even with early morning monitoring, I probably can't get to my desk till 9am at the earliest. I’m torn on whether to tell my manager

• Performance: The admin/logistics side of IVF (insurance/clinics) is already draining my bandwidth and surprisingly has made me feel burned out. I'm nervous stim/IVF is going to tank my performance.
• Privacy: My manager is supportive but has at times over-shared about other people we work with (disclosed someone's MC to give context as to why that person hasn't been performing well). I don't want my IVF journey to become known by others in leadership or impact my promotion.
• Our relationship: we like each other and I know I'm one of her favorites and her top performer, she poached me from another team a few years back. We aren't really big on sharing personal info. I've shared with her some medical issues (non-fertility) in the past and she was supportive. but also, she's very nice to peoples faces but a bit of a shark behind closed doors, so take that with a grain of salt.

For those in high-intensity roles, did you tell your boss? If you stayed vague, how did you explain the sudden change in your morning availability without sounding like you’re "quiet quitting" during a promotion year?

My PPO plan pays for some of IVF which I'm grateful for, but as a result, its created a very unclear picture of how much I'll pay in the end.

My clinic has been responsive, but every time I ask specific questions about what I'll actually owe before my cycle starts, I either get redirected to my insurance or told that costs can't be determined until after services are rendered. I get that IVF is variable but we're talking about a potential $10k+ bill and I can't get straight answers on some pretty basic things upfront.

For those who've been through this:

- Is this just how it works at most clinics?

- Did you find a way to get more clarity before moving forward, or did you just trust the process?

- Is there anything you wish you had asked or done differently before your cycle started?

Any advice appreciated. Trying to go in with eyes open and not get blindsided by the bill after the fact.

PS -- for anyone in California specifically: my situation also involves an out-of-network affiliated surgical center (with the Dr. and lab testing in network) and questions about balance billing and AB 72 protections. Happy to chat more in the comments if you've navigated something similar!