r/IVF

I'm a child-free woman who does not want to have children. However, because I don't want children, I am interested in helping someone who does. I am young-ish (within the accepted range) have a clean medical history and am highly-educated. I have already found a several clinics to potentially work with (and if anyone has experiences with Elevate Baby, please let me know...) And they're ready to move on to the next steps.

However, the one thing stopping me is fear about the after-effects of donating my eggs. If you've donated, please be brutally honest. Did you experience any after-effects such as bleeding, weight gain, something shifting, etc. I've thought very seriously about this and I'm scared to make the final push.

Sooo my FET is this Wednesday July 8th and I have a dinner with a close friend on the 7th the night before. We usually get a drink at dinner and she will be highly suspicious if I don’t get one and tbh I kind of want one last glass of wine! I had one mimosa last month at brunch because I’m just not a big drinker to begin with. The place we go to has fantastic wine and I would get one glass of my usual. Has anyone done this and it’s been ok? 😬 obviouslyyy never would do this after transfer but I’m wondering if the night before is OK?! Also I just want to be as normal as possible we decided not to tell anyone that we’re doing a transfer.

I’m posting this here because this subreddit was extremely helpful for me in this process and I want to pay it forward. These are my results at 39 years old from one round. AFC 13, AMH 18.95

13 retrieved
11 mature
7 fertilized
5 blasts
3 euploid
1 llm

My protocol was pergoveris 375 for 3 days, 450 for 8 days, decapeptyl trigger.

Firstly- I’m NOT suggesting you get a dog during IVF but personally for me, it was the best thing I ever could’ve done.

Background- 4 years fertility of struggles/losses leading to starting IVF this year. I have DOR, my husband’s sperm is good except for bad morphology. Our first cycle we didn’t make it to the egg retrieval because I was a poor responder to the med protocol so they converted me to IUI half way through the stim cycle and that failed (expectedly). The two week wait was terrible because of the progesterone and made my mental health plumet (and I mean BAD). It got much better after getting off progesterone. My doctor also then said if this next med protocol doesn’t work out then I’m likely not a candidate for IVF (send good juju for a successful response this time please!!)

Okay so we were in between cycles 1 & 2 and I had been volunteering at an animal shelter to walk dogs once a week before work. I grew up with dogs and our last elderly cat passed about a year and a half ago and I just needed animals in my life but we weren’t sure if we wanted to adopt a pet yet with IVF and all. Well this dog just captured my heart and i just fell in love at first sight. We were toying with getting a cat or a dog because the house was just so empty and our dynamic from IVF has just been not awesome. Of course my husband and I love each other but it’s been so hard and increasingly harder to keep things light together. Long story short my husband said I could bring the dog home as a foster and that lasted 2 hours because we knew this was our dog.

It’s hard adjusting to a new pet but man is it worth it. I’m 4 days into cycle two with a new heavy duty med protocol and we’ve had our dog for a month now. It’s always a little tough adjusting with a new pet but im just so happy. I have purpose again and lots and lots of unconditional love and cuddles (&play!!). I’m submitting to this IVF journey in the way that I wish I could’ve previously and it’s because of this godsend of a dog. I love having a happy little buddy and he’s just increased the happy energy of the home in a way that I am just so endlessly grateful for.

I really want this IVF plan to work out and it’s just so hard to grieve the life that you wanted or that you hope to have and don’t know if you’ll be able to have it. But this sweet pup has opened my eyes up to starting to accept alternative options if IVF doesn’t work for us for the first time. He’s helping me realize there’s a life outside of this journey waiting for me no matter what the outcome is. This dog is just so resilient and gives me strength to find joy even in grief.

I’m not sure what the future holds but in a time when it’s really hard to live in the moment because it’s so painful, this dog has helped me to actually start enjoying the moment for the first time in a very very long time.

Anyway, long rant but if you’re struggling I suggest spending time with animals because they’re awesome. Sending all of my well wishes and good luck to everyone here!!

Take care ✨🐾

Hi all!

First, I wanted to thank you all for your vulnerability and bravery to share on here. I've leaned on this group heavily throughout this emotional process and your stories have been very validating and affirming and have made me feel less alone.

Because of this, I felt I should share a bit about my journey as I think it might be able to provide some hope for fellow IVF warriors!

I had a really disappointing egg retrieval last Saturday. Leading up to the procedure, my ultrasounds and blood work had led myself and my doctors to believe we'd get at least 10 eggs, but closer to 12-15. Welp, on the day of the procedure, the surgeon retrieved only 3 eggs. When he visited me after I woke up, even he was confused as to why only 3 were retrieved considering the number and size of my follicles and estrogen levels.

My husband and I were really shaken. I've had health problems throughout my life that left whether or not stims would work for me as a big question mark.

The next day however, we got the call that all 3 were mature and all 3 had fertilized! And today, after a looong wait (the one time I was not pleased with a long holiday weekend lol) we heard that ALL THREE successfully made it to the blastocyst phase!! XBAB, XBBB and XBBB! (my clinic does "XB" to signify "expanded blastocyst" and these were all day 5 blastocysts.)

I just wanted to share that if you are in the depths of it right now, please know that good things can happen!!!

Sending love to all of you!

Edit: to explain my clinic's grading system a bit

Let’s hope it’s third time lucky today (6th July) 🍀 Any tips, tricks or positive energy you can offer would be gratefully received!

I started ivf at 38.5 years old and now within the last 14 months have done 4 retrievals , creating 8 blasts but all are aneuploid .

Has anyone had similar experience at my age 39 ?! Did you ever end up making a euploid?

TYIA

I am 38 years old (almost 39) with diminished ovarian reserve, and my husband also has issues. We are only 10 days apart in age.
Here is a brief summary of my history.
We started IVF in September 2025 with a recommended doctor. We had one natural-cycle retrieval and collected and froze one egg. The following month we did a stimulation with Elonva and retrieved another 6 eggs. Five fertilized, and we did not get a single blastocyst. We took a one-month break and repeated the protocol. We had 5 eggs, 4 fertilized, and again no blastocysts.
We decided to change clinics. There, we started 3 months after the last retrieval. The doctor said we would change the protocol and proceed with a modified natural cycle using Letrozole. In the first cycle we retrieved 4 eggs, 3 fertilized, and we got 2 blastocysts, one of which was a high-level mosaic and the other with no chance of success.
We then did another cycle again with Letrozole, but because of a dominant follicle we retrieved only 2 eggs. Both fertilized, and one became a blastocyst. Today we received the PGT-A results for that embryo, and they frightened and devastated me. 69, XXY.
I am losing hope. Why is this happening? I know I am not young and that I have diminished ovarian reserve, but I had huge hope that the doctors would help me. Now I feel like hope is leaving me.
What is wrong with me? Why? Do I even have any chance at all?
Before, I used to feel angry. Now I feel powerless and exhausted. I can’t even imagine that anything will improve. I read statistics, I read comments, I read articles. I don’t even fit into the statistics. From just three embryos and five ovarian retrievals, nothing.
What are the chances?
Thank you for reading this.

I am coming out of the shock of losing my healthy 30-something husband suddenly a few months ago. The last time I saw him was actually at a doctor’s appointment which is just another painful layer on this entire situation. I am seeking some advice / what would you do?

I had never had a deep desire to be a parent prior to meeting my husband, who was an incredible person, but obviously changed my mind and got off the fence. We froze embryos years ago in our early 30s which we have not used/transferred (2 euploids that I am free to use or destroy or donate in the event of his passing). We stopped birth control in Jan 2025 and returned to the clinic last fall to start trying IUI before moving to our embryos. In early 2026 we learned that our clinic had found a hydrosalpinx in one tube in 2023 and never disclosed it, instead labeling us as ‘unexplained’. We were already switching to a different clinic for a plethora of other reasons and did so after this disclosure, which wasted so much precious time (and obviously neither of us knew the permanence of their incompetence). We really like our new doctor and decided to bank more embryos before removing the affected tube, we then had two failed retrievals this year (MDL followed by antagonist, my follicles got too big too quickly on MDL and weren’t mature at retrieval and I ovulated right before surgery for #2- have had success w MDL in the past).

I have four more rounds covered by insurance for this year, but given my current mental state, depression and intense grief am unsure I even want to have kids at this point. While I have the resources etc. I am also aware that being a single mother will be an entirely different experience than the one we had planned. Additionally, I have DOR and retrieve btw 3-4 eggs each round (minus the two were nothing was retrieved). I am obviously deeply depressed right now and not making any major decisions about doing an FET or anything for at least another year if not more.

I will be 38 this year and am worried that I am going to be 40 or 42 and regret not freezing more eggs or embryos if I decide to use the two we have and the transfers fail. Or maybe I will decide after this fog lifts that I never want to be a mother. My husband’s family, including his identical twin, are in support of whatever I want to do. His 20-something cousin is the product of IVF, using a donor egg from her Mom’s sister after many years of her parents’ own IVF failures and disappointment, so this isn’t ‘weird’ to my in-laws. Additionally, if I want to freeze embryos instead of eggs his twin is also in support of being the donor (while I love and trust my BIL this is not something I think I want to pursue right now since neither of us are thinking straight of course- since they are identical any child would still be biologically/genetically 100% my husbands which is kind of a mind fck right now).

I am meeting with our fertility doctor this week and kind of want to have some sort of game plan for next steps. Could be removing my tube, banking eggs / embryos, or just doing nothing. Has anyone done this alone after their spouse passed? Because of my age and DOR it truly feels like I need to make a decision on at least banking immediately.

Just got the call that my hcg levels are dropping at 5 weeks after a significant bleed 2 days ago.

This was my first FET after having surgery for endo. Everything was looking so great and I had such high hopes. Previous to that I had 1 miscarriage at 10 weeks (my first FET) and 3 failures to implant followed - which then resulted in an endo diagnosis.

We have 2 embryos left and decided that we will not go again if they don't result in a live birth. But heck, I am just so heartbroken, tired and lost with it all.

I am going to get a second opinion by another fertility specialist as I feel like mine is just placing me in the 'too hard' category now....

I just found out my second FET failed. I only have 1 embryo left. What should I be asking in my next appointment? My last embryo is lower quality than the first two so feeling pretty hopeless 💔

We knew my wife’s (36f) stage 4 endometriosis was going to make IVF difficult, but it was still a gut punch to hear that we only got two eggs from our first retrieval this past Monday.

Today, we learned that both of those eggs became blastocysts!

Fingers crossed that our lucky streak continues as we proceed with an implantation in a few weeks. Godspeed, little fighters.

Everyone needs to back off. It's just painful to go ANYWHERE at this point.

At work - when are you having kids?

With friends - when are you having kids?

With family - when are you having kids?

What is this bullshit.

I once read that they could increase the risk of cancer because they stimulate cell growth, and I’ve been scared ever since. I’m going through IVF right now, so it’s something that’s been worrying me a lot.

Hi everyone. I wanted to leave a message of comfort, especially from a husband’s perspective, for those who are currently walking through the darkest parts of this journey.

To be honest, I was very reluctant to visit the fertility clinic at first. Like many ignorant husbands, I foolishly thought infertility could never be my problem. But when we finally visited one day out of frustration, the results showed that my sperm count was nearly zero. I was diagnosed with a varicocele and had to undergo surgery.

Watching my wife go through 10 painful IVF cycles and 5 miscarriages after that broke my heart in ways I can never fully express. Looking back, we were so naive at the beginning, thinking everything would be solved as long as we did IVF. We had no idea it would turn into such an endless journey.

During our long and painful road, I had to watch my younger brother’s family, who got married 4 years later than us, quickly have two children back-to-back. Going to family holidays felt like walking into a room full of thorns, and the heartbreak and sense of loss were indescribable. I also remember the painful sting of seeing other IVF warriors who started around the same time as us finally achieve their dreams, leaving me with a deep sense of isolation as if we were the only ones left behind in the dark.

If you are feeling envious, devastated, or even resentful of other people’s happy news tonight, please know this: Your feelings are completely valid. It is a deeply natural human emotion, and you should never, ever blame yourself for feeling this way. You are not bad people; you are just human beings who are hurting deeply.

And there is one more thing I truly want to tell you: Miscarriage is absolutely no one's fault. Having gone through 5 miscarriages ourselves, there were times we blamed ourselves, but it is truly no one's fault.

This process breaks us down in ways no one else can understand. But please remember that you are not alone in that dark tunnel. I’ve come to realize that just knowing someone is walking alongside you can be a huge source of strength.

Sending you all so much love and silent hugs.

Is there a reason why some people choose to not genetically test their blastocystes ? I have recently joined the community and i read that some don’t test them and wanted to know if it is for a specific reason

I’m starting my first round of ivf and have a few questions on what to expect. Some background- I’m 41, 5”4 109lb, egg retrieval score is 8, amh 1.35 and a very anxious person. I overthink everything probably an unhealthy amount. I have not told my family and I see them weekly (they will notice if my body changes an incredible amount) they’re very supportive in everything I do but I don’t want to get any hopes up.

What can I expect?…Will I be on a higher dose of meds bc my score is low and will that cause more intense side effects? Is this something I will be able to “hide” from my family? How long after egg retrieval did your mental and physical state return to pre stims? Is it harder to do back to back egg retrieval rounds? My insurance covers 3 rounds and I was hoping to them back to back before my chances become even more slim.

Thank you for any advice, tips, help.

Hi all, 38, first time IVF, I just had my first retrieval and got 7 eggs. They won’t tell me how many are mature or fertilized until tomorrow. My AMH was 2.6, baseline ultrasound showed 17+ follicles so I feel my follicles and body just did not perform nearly as well as expected (only 4 very good follicles, 3 maybes). I’d hoped for the first round to be my only. For those who had around 7 eggs retrieved, did you get any euploids? Anyone with similar age/AMH/baseline follicles also feel they underperformed? Feeling a bit drained.

So my FET is Jul 9th and I’m nervous. I started my pío shots on the 2nd of July for a 5AB embryo. Is it me or is that too long? In the calendar they wanted me to take one shot on the second, skip two days, and then start the pío again today. I have been reading so much online that once started I shouldn’t stop pio so I’m confused. I decided to continue because I was worried maybe it was an error and of course they are closed during 4th of July to ask. So now that I have been on pio for what’s about to be 4 days tonight. What should I ask my clinic. This is my only embryo so I want super high chances for it.

My lining before progesterone was 10.29mm triple lining.

How long did you have to wait to do a retrieval after a failed transfer? And how long do you have to wait to do another transfer after a failed transfer?