r/IVF

I’m just so frustrated with everything. My husband’s a great guy but his sometimes lack of empathy bothers me. IVF has not been crazy in terms of my mood swings but I am on the edge more often. I feel isolated and alone, I know there’s not much he can do but whenever I say I’m feeling lonely momentarily he listens but there’s no proactive support. He keeps saying I should verbalize what I want which is annoying as well. Why can’t be understand what I need or let me throw tantrums without trying to dissect and tell me how to resolve “my feelings”. I sometimes feel I have to spell everything out when it comes to my needs or feelings and he says that’s part of communication. But I would like some initiative from his end. Maybe offer to go to the clinic with me, help me with meds etc, although I wouldn’t have him help. I would just like him to still ask and show concern….does this make sense or im being unreasonable/bad communicator? Idek anymore. I just wish he wouldn’t take everything tantrum so personally and understand I could be just hormonal.. I hate asking for help so that’s not helpful either I suppose

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I’ve completely abandoned my autonomy throughout this journey and have just become a pincushion and a vessel for a baby that does not even exist and probably won’t ever exist. I think I reached my breaking point when I had to cancel a trip to Europe to do a mock cycle because my last transfer didn’t work again surprise surprise. My whole life has been taken over by this. I can’t do anything for myself. I’ve lost hair. I’ve gained weight. I’m just over it. I’m sure this is a side effect of the progesterone that I’m currently on, but I am just so angry with this whole process. It is elective torture and I know I’m actively choosing this but I have no choice if I want to be a mother. Now I’m not even sure I do.

I’m soooo tired of seeing pregnancy announcements. And to be honest the ones from married people don’t really bother me, but the “oops this wasn’t planned” ones really piss me off. Like first of all…we’re all grown here. Everyone knows what happens when you have unprotected sex so the whole “it wasn’t planned” thing is so obnoxious. And secondly, here I am thinking I was doing things the right way, waiting to get married before I had children, but everytime I open social media another single (as in not married) person is fucking pregnant. And this is no shade to un-married people in now way shape or form. Sometimes I just wish I would’ve had kids with my deadbeat boyfriend from 15 years ago. At least I was young and fertile then smh. I’m just so tired 😪 of waiting for my dream to come true. Seriously considering getting off social media…again.

I can’t decide between these two clinics to transfer across our NHS funding for one cycle, and the comments I’ve seen on other posts seem to be fifty-fifty down the middle. One of my friends recommends Create; another friend recommends Care.

If you’ve used either of these clinics recently for IVF, and if you transferred your NHS cycle here, please can you share your experiences? I am looking for cohesive care, clear communication, empathy, a tailored IVF plan and kindness. Ideally with an awareness of trauma-informed care and neurodiversity.

Create Manchester
When I rang to get initial information, the woman who picked up was incredibly empathetic; she was kind, compassionate, and told me how sorry she was that my care under St Mary’s had been traumatic during an already stressful time. She explained the process of changing in detail, patiently repeating information when I needed her to. She told me that if you’ve already got one free cycle approved, it’s basically a straightforward swap with Right To Choose but if you want to try and get PGT-A testing and additional testing included with the NHS cycle, then get the GP to submit a new request and see if it gets accepted, and then they’ll do all that for free, cos they said they can’t add on things for us to pay for an NHS cycle, so you have to get it included already from the integrated care board or try on the next self-funded cycle. PGT-A Testing isn’t a hill to die on for me; I just want compassionate, tailored care for my endometriosis and adenomyosis. She explained that I need to book an appointment with my GP to get the referral started, and gave me an email address for them to use if they need help with the forms (I am not sure where to find these forms). She wasn’t sure how long the process takes between GP and Integrated Care Board, but once it’s approved, it takes 2-3 weeks for Create to process it; they book you in for a consultation and scan, prepare a treatment plan, and then you start IVF the next cycle. The lady was very patient with me and said to ring back or email if I needed anything else.

Create are slightly easier for me to travel to. When I was looking at websites, I wasn’t particularly drawn to them as a company, but the woman I spoke to on the phone really made me feel at ease. I am a bit worried and confused about ABC being their sister company/part of Create, but also a completely different clinic?  

HFEA Success Under 38: 34% based on 403 embryos
HFEA Inspection: 5 / 5 ⭐
HFEA Patient Reviews: 4.5 / 5 ⭐ Based on 27 Reviews
Google Reviews: 3.9 / 5 ⭐ Based on 91 Reviews
Trust Pilot Reviews: 4.6 / 5 ⭐ Based on 99 Reviews

Care Manchester
From the start, I was drawn to Care from their website, as their consultant team seems very tailored towards endometriosis. However, the phone call gave me a bad first impression, and I’m worried this is a sign of treatment to come.

I know this sounds really pedantic, but the woman didn’t pick up the phone properly (e.g. Care Fertility greeting, etc.); it was just silence… yeah? After a moment. She sounded quite bored, and when I asked questions, she just said, ‘go speak to your GP about being transferred’ a few times. I asked if I could please speak to someone else, and she put me on hold, then said there wasn’t anyone else to speak to, and I think she may have realised she wasn’t being very helpful, so to be fair to her, she did start to try.

She said the GP sends a referral straight to Care, not the Integrated Care Board. She said I can email the GP and just ask her to email them directly, asking to transfer my NHS care from St Mary’s because I’m unhappy with St Mary’s to Care, and then Care handles all the NHS funding. Once the email from the GP comes through, they send it to the clinic director. Once they’ve received the referral, it takes 7-10 working days for them to start the process; they will send over a checklist to make sure we are eligible, and it’ll be within six weeks for the first consultation. It's not a deal breaker, but I did get a little bit tearful briefly, and she ignored it. I think I expected slightly more from a company called Care?

HFEA Success Under 35: 35% based on 815 embryos transferred
HFEA Inspection: 5 / 5 ⭐
HFEA Patient Reviews: 5 / 5 ⭐Based on 6 Reviews
Google Reviews: 4.2 / 5 ⭐ Based on 92 Reviews
Trust Pilot Reviews: 4.48/ 5 ⭐Based on 2,205 Reviews

 

TW: LC

I’m 37 years old. I had my son in Jan 2025 (I was 36). Easily conceived, uncomplicated pregnancy.

I got pregnant again 1 year postpartum (Jan 2026). This ended in a missed miscarriage (anembryonic pregnancy discovered at 9 weeks, stopped developing at 6 weeks). I was absolutely rocked by this.

I got pregnant again 3 months later in July 2026. I just discovered the fetus is Trisomy 21 and we will be proceeding with TFMR within the upcoming weeks.

MFM states these losses are likely unrelated.

All of these pregnancies were conceived by accident/first try. This is not a brag, as I think it is actually hurting my chances of having a healthy baby because my body just seems to allow any egg to be fertilized and implanted. I can’t help but feel my eggs are just bad at this point.

I have read about hyperfertility and wonder if this is a factor that can be overcome by IVF.

I am also wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how your IVF journey has gone - worth it? Regret anything? Cost? I am in the Midwest US.

I don’t want to waste more time if the writing is on the wall, I’m just unsure what my chances are if I try again naturally vs utilize IVF.

Last week was my second egg retrieval. First ER went smoothly. Recovery was fast and I was very positive that things were going to be just the same for the second ER. Well, I was mistaken.

I had the retrieval on Tuesday this week. Everything went well, I stayed at the clinic for an hour just to make sure I didn't have any bad reaction. My husband and I left for our hotel room, slept for an hour and then decided to have lunch before driving back home (2 hour drive). When we were about to pay, I felt like all my blood suddenly raised to my head. I told my husband I was going to the bathroom because I felt like I was going to throw up. I almost passed out once I reached the bathroom and I barely made it to the door to call my husband for help. Long story short, I fainted twice, my husband had to call an ambulance and I was rushed to the Emergency room. I had the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. It was on my right abdomen all the way up to my right shoulder. I was admitted to the hospital at 7 pm due to hemorrhage. My hemoglobin was at 8 and I was really really close to having surgery. They wanted to remove my only ovary and me and my IVF doctor fought to avoid that unless it was life threatening. At the end, the stabilized me and sent me home the following day. It's now Saturday and I still feel like sh$t. My body temp ranges from 100 to 100.3 (almost fever) and my stomach is so dilated that I can barely walk. I can barely breath because if I take a long breath, my stomach and shoulder hurts bad.

After this horrible experience and a few other reasons, we decided to stop IVF, regardless of the outcome. I treasure my life too much and I don't want to put my body through this anymore. We only have one euploid embryo from 1st retrieval and no blasto results as of now but I don't want to have my hopes up (from 15 eggs retrieved, only 7 fertilized).

For those of you who read my post, don't get discouraged. My purpose with telling you all of these is to be aware of all the risks that go with IVF. I don't think only 1% of patients get these side effects. Read through this Reddit and you'll find many many stories like mine. Speak with your doctor and make sure you can identify the signs of hemorrhage after egg retrieval. I was lucky enough that we went straight to ER but some other women on this reddit have waited or have been dismissed by their medical team and that can be dangerous.

I hope we see the light at the end of the tunnel and we get a few more euploid from this final round. If not, my husband and I are OK with living life with no kids. ❤️

(English is not my native language.)

Looking for some advice on my next steps to conceive. I’ve been hoping to do a FET for a few months but keep retesting positive for BV despite taking two rounds of antibiotics and probiotics. I’ve eliminated one strain of bacteria but Gardenella in particular seems to be increasing monthly even with the antibiotics. My doctor is now recommending more antibiotics, a nutritionist and potentially PRP in Spain - does anyone have experience with clearing BV after multiple failed antibiotic attempts? Or any success through diet or PRP? I also had a transfer attempt cancelled because of fluid before the BV so feeling quite deflated that I’ve got two issues to solve

I’m just wondering what worked for others after an endo/adeno diagnosis. I know everyone is different, but I’d really appreciate hearing what worked — or didn’t work — for others.

One thing I’m struggling to understand is why my doctor doesn’t test or monitor any of the usual inflammation markers before a transfer. My ANA was super high, my CRP was around 5x the upper limit, and my WBC has consistently been elevated every year for as long as I can remember. I was eventually referred to a rheumatologist and had a full immune blood panel done, but nothing specific came out of it. In the end, everything pointed back toward endo.

And honestly, getting the endo diagnosis was largely because I kept pushing for it. No one seemed particularly interested in getting to the bottom of the inflammation, but I really wanted to have that addressed before doing another retrieval.

I had the endo excised in March, but none of these markers have been repeated since surgery. For my FET, the only thing I’m prescribed with my hormones is baby aspirin nothing specifically anti-inflammatory.

I’m not necessarily saying I think inflammation is the reason my transfers failed, but I’m genuinely curious how other clinics approach this. For those with endo/adeno and elevated inflammatory markers, did your doctor monitor anything before/after surgery or before your transfers? Did your treatment plan include anything beyond suppression and the standard FET meds?

I’d really love to hear from people who have actually been through this especially if something changed in your protocol that you feel ultimately made a difference.

I'm 2 failed FETs in & I feel so defeated with a body that's constantly working against me.

My husband just got laid off 😫 I have a job, but obviously this has put us in a very stressful situation.

We have a transfer planned for november, and now I’m wondering if we should still go ahead with it.
I’m really scared. I know it can take months to find a new job (he’s a software engineer) and especially right now in our country, I’m worried about how long it could take.
I’m not sure if it’s irresponsible to move forward with IVF while we’re dealing with this uncertainty.
Has anyone been through something similar? Would you go ahead with the transfer o postpone?

For context, I am an RN of 14 years, have survived septic shock six times, have lupus, been on chemo, and only have one ovary due to a 13cm mass on my left ovary in which resulted in losing that ovary. My AMH is 0.25. I had 6 AFC on Saline sono.

As a nurse I am a woman of science. I knew my chances were absolute trash. Statistics were NOT on my side but I was willing to take the chance even knowing that, especially knowing that, so I did not get my hopes up very high.

My first round was cancelled due to not responding (at all) to stims.

My second round 8 days later I responded immediately BUT only had two follicles saying hello and one was really dominant with no chance of the second being able to catch up. My egg retrieval happened.
Two eggs retrieved.
One mature.
One fertilized.
One beautiful embryo on ice.
I couldn’t believe my damn luck. The stats of that happening were less than 30%.

Round 3 began just a week after my egg retrieval (DuoStim cycle). I was SO excited as I had 4 follicles responding as the two that had been retrieved started to shrink. But as the days went on, one of the follicles stopped responding and 2 follicles were responding at a snails pace and nowhere near big enough to produce a mature egg. I had one good follicle only. Egg retrieval happened.
One egg retrieved.
One mature.
One fertilized.
ONE BEAUTIFUL EMBRYO ON ICE.
Once again I could not believe my luck. The chances of one egg retrieved becoming an embryo? Just under 20%.

The chances of 3 eggs over two retrievals becoming 2 embryos? 15%. I had a 15% chance.

But I guess my life has been a series of beating odds.
The first time I went septic I had a 20% chance of living, an 80% chance of dying. My lactic acid was double digits.
I survived being rear ended at highway speed at a dead stop in a five car pile up.

I’m a survivor. And my little embryos are some survivors too. 🤍

I’m in round 4 and so far only two follicles. But I’m holding on to the above. We just need 1-2 more embryos and the. We start transfers.

I hope if you’re in a situation similar to mine, you read this and have some hope too.

Sincerely,
Future Mamma S.

My husband and I (M 34, F 34) have been TTC for 12 months before getting diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Every test under the sun showed that we were normal/nothing seemed off. I do sometimes have painful cramps during my period but I’ve never went down the route of checking for endometriosis. With unexplained, our RE advised us to do IVF vs IUI. To be honest, never have I ever considered the idea of IVF so having told that we might need to go that route was honestly so devastating/discouraging.

After thinking it through (and finding out my insurance covers 3 cycles) we decided to jump the gun and do IVF as to not waste any more time because we wanted at least 2 kids. We started IVF immediately for our 13th cycle. I was stimmed for 10 days and then 2 days of trigger shot with lupron because my estradiol levels reached 10k!! The hormones made me really bloated and uncomfortable and with my numbers, I was super nervous about risk of OHSS and basically spiraled just thinking about what would happen after ER.

I just had my ER yesterday and surprisingly, I am feeling fine. I did take a bunch of electrolytes the 2 days before retrieval so I’m not sure if that helped at all. Other than pain killers, my RE did not prescribe me with anything else.

My numbers:

17 eggs retrieved (my RE said this was lower than she expected because my AMH is 4.74)

of the 17, 14 matured (RE said this is normal attrition), one was overmature and the other 2 they are trying to salvage (idk what this means)

of the 14 matured, 13 fertilized with ICSI (at first they wanted to let the sperm get to the egg naturally but after observing lower motility, they decided to do ICSI)

Now with the 13 fertilized, we wait another 5-6 days for the next update on how many makes it to blast. I am super nervous but my RE said I can expect 50% of those to make it to blast, which leaves us with 6-7 for PGT-A testing.

This whole process is so mentally and physically exhausting and stressful and I can’t imagine going though this again. I am crossing my fingers for at least 3-4 euploids from this cycle. I heard 3 is optimal for every one live child so if I want 2 kids, I would need 5-6 but at this point, I might just accept the fact that 1 is all I will have (if I’m lucky enough).

For all the first time IVF’ers, how was your experience and numbers for your first ER? How many children would you like and will you consider doing IVF again to bank more embryos?

I've had two failed FET with nothing being visibly wrong. Did lots of tests etc. And today someone asked me a question which made me wonder. They asked whether I think that subconsciously (like fears) something is blocking me from getting pregnant. I am a pretty realistic person but considering now I am desperate and panicking I thought is that really a possibility. What are your thoughts? And if that can be and issue, how do I deal with it?

35F.

I know technically I'm not, but the more conversations I have with my fertility clinic, the more ridiculous I feel.

I have two kids already, 9 and 11, from my first marriage. I recently got remarried and although we arent ready just yet to try to conceive, we would have 3 more kids, ideally.

Anyways, as I talk to the clinic and speak to how this is more an insurance policy and not something we really plan to use, the doctor has made it seem to me almost like a guarantee that we'd want to use it, due to age if nothing else. So really it feels like the "preservation " was just an idea. Idk. I feel emotional and not sure to describe how I feel.

My AFC was 15, and AMH .76. I was told my amh is low due to low AFC? But I've read that is a good AFC online.

Sorry this is all over the place. It's just nice to find somewhere with other people experiencing this all

Does anyone know of any clinics or practitioners that will do remote IVF cycle monitoring in/around Denver, CO?

Our clinic is in another state. We’re desperate.

I just had my 6th euploid FET fail today. Dark times. The first 2 didn’t really count because the embryos were damaged. 1st after that was a fail to implant. Found and treated endometritis. 2nd was immune protocol w/ aspirin resulted in MMC at 8 weeks. 3 was immune protocol and failed to implant. 4th (this last one) was modified natural for the first time with immune protocol, also failed to implant.

I have one embryo left and then I will be childless. I don’t have the options for adoption/donor egg/embryo. For complicated reasons an ex lap or suppression are not good options for me. My doctor feels like another natural cycle is the best option. I kind of agree. I feel that I need to be done. My life is ruined, my body is unrecognizable, I hate myself, I have suicidal thoughts, use self injury to manage and I have chronic pain that I can’t get the procedure for until fertility treatment is done. I do all the psych meds and therapy 2-3x/week. I have supportive family/friends. I have to stop but I don’t want to regret not doing enough.

I guess I’m hoping someone has had success after all this just by keeping trying. I can’t do a new extra treatment or spend more money. But it would be so helpful to not go in completely hopeless. I want to believe this could still be the one. It is a 5AB euploid.

Our only issue is PCOS/PMOS. I’ve been TTC for over 6 years (started when I was 28), 5 years of this has been with the help of my city’s fertility clinic. My husband (31M) and I (34F) had two pregnancies that ended in loss before we moved to IVF. I spent almost 2 years on monitored Letrozole cycles (18 cycles total) which lead to the two pregnancies but this is far more cycles than most people have. Most people get pregnant within 3 cycles of Letrozole if it doesn’t work for them. I was confirmed to be ovulating for majority of cycles but more testing wasn’t done to see why implantation kept failing.

It’s been 2 years since starting IVF- 2 retrievals (4 euploids total), 2 FETs that both failed. Both FETs I was taking Letrozole, trigger shot and then transfer X days after trigger (with vaginal progesterone) After the 2nd failed FET, my RE did an endometrial biopsy that found endometritis. I ended up having 3 biopsies for the endometritis (because it needed two rounds of antibiotics to clear) and then a biopsy for a matrices test.

Our next FET will be in December, and it will consist of additional vitamins, PIO shots, a blood thinner and additional medications per the recommendation of the matrices test. I’m very hopeful but also guarding my heart in case it doesn’t work again. Part of me wants to switch clinics if the next transfer doesn’t work. I realize that I ended up being a harder case but this whole process is taking so long and I feel that I constantly have to advocate for myself to get additional testing. I also have a clinical background and I can’t imagine how people with no medical knowledge go through this. Honestly I would appreciate opinions. Should I just stay put because we’ve already made progress or switch and get new eyes on our case?

I had my first ER 20 days ago. The first 3 days were painful as expected but then it went down a lot. My period came 11 days after the ER (worst pain of my life due to my endo and not being allowed NSAIDs, but it calmed down) and the bloating drastically decreased right beforehand, so I’m on cd10 now. Outside of the period, I had felt like the pain was getting better and better. I only had pain when I used my abs or walked (and for a bit after), and I stopped walking like a snail and started walking at a meandering pace.

Today though, my pain started getting worse. Even when I had been entirely sedentary (driving for 2h), I got ovary pain, and on top of that, it hurts more than it did before. It’s still a super manageable amount of pain, but I expected it to keep getting better rather than worse.

They only retrieved 11 eggs (AFC 17) but I think they did think I was at some increased risk of OHSS because they lowered the trigger drugs after seeing my estrogen levels. I also don’t have any symptoms of OHSS.

I thought maybe my estrogen rising approaching ovulation could be causing it, but I usually ovulate around cd18 (cd14-20) so that’s not really that soon. I also don’t have any EWCM. It’s still pretty dry as I just stopped spotting yesterday. So I have no reason to think that my estrogen is very high.

What could this be? Should I be concerned? I got booked in next week for bloodwork and an ultrasound because I am leaving for the long weekend (Canada). I hadn’t yet told them the pain was getting worse though - we booked it when I was just concerned it was lasting too long, before it got worse today. Does it sound urgent? Should I delay my trip to get checked out in 2 days instead?

I have history of endo with excision surgery 1 year ago. I did 2 months of lupron suppression prior to my first medicated transfer with a euploid embryo which failed.

My clinic has me doing another fully medicated cycle for this next transfer, with the addition of 2 weeks of birth control and daily lupron prior to starting transfer meds.

I asked about adding in an immune protocol, including baby aspirin, Pepcid, Claritin, and steroids with this transfer. My doctor said there’s basically not enough evidence to recommend this, but if I wanted to take these meds myself I can (minus the steroid) as there’s minimal harm to it.

I don’t feel fully comfortable doing something that my clinic doesn’t necessarily recommend, but at the same time I am willing to do anything possible to make this work and have read a lot of positive discussions on immune protocols.

Would you feel comfortable taking these meds, or have you found them to be beneficial for you?

Took my first round of injections yesterday, and woke up with what feels like a hormonal migraine. Can’t help feeling disheartened already for how tough this will be. I’m 32, my AMH is 1.1, and only have 7 follicles and have never been pregnant. I’m seeing so many women who feel devastated with numbers that I would feel lucky to have - I think the pent up emotion and anxiety of this process has started to overflow. Trying to keep a positive mindset, but I’m scared too.