u/Super_Background_293

Would you test embryos for transfer if the mother is 30 years old?

At my clinic, I’ll have to decide on egg retrieval day whether I want to test all my embryos, freeze some and test them later, or not test them at all and just start transferring.

I have 25 follicles and an AMH of 5.03, and my doctor expects me to get quite a lot of eggs, so I’m already stressing about what to do with the embryos

I really don’t want to freeze embryos, thaw them for biopsy, and then freeze them again because I’ve read some studies suggesting that this can reduce implantation/live birth chances to some extent. But at the same time, I can’t afford to PGT-A test a huge number of embryos at the same time. it’s really expensive where I live.

I had a karyotype test done, but the results won’t be back until after my egg retrieval, so I’ll have to make the decision before I know the result. I also don’t have any known genetic diseases in my family, and the sperm is from a donor.

Right now, I’m leaning toward not testing and just transferring an embryo, then continuing with the others if it doesn’t work. Since I’m 30, I’m assuming the aneuploidy rate shouldn’t be that high?

But at the same time, I keep wondering if I’m making the wrong decision by skipping PGT-A.

What would you do in my situation? Did anyone around 30 choose not to test and have a good experience? Or did you test and feel like it was worth it?

My first IVF test results came back and I'm already overjoyed! I know there's a lot more to evaluate and everything depends on many factors, but I can't hide my happiness!!! Should I be happy about this?

My wife and I adopted our daughter when she was 7. We always wanted to become parents through adoption because we liked the idea of caring for a child who already existed and needed a family. We never felt a strong desire to experience pregnancy, even though we're both fertile.

She's now the center of our world. We have a wonderful relationship, she's thriving, and we've always been open about her adoption. She's Black, we're white, and everyone around us knows she's adopted. We've also supported her through difficult feelings about her biological family and always answered her questions honestly.

Now we're considering having a second child. As we've gotten older, we've realized we'd like to experience raising a baby at least once. We can also now afford IVF, which wasn't an option before. I'll be honest: part of me would also love to see a child who resembles me physically. That's not the main reason, but it is part of it.

If IVF doesn't work, we'll likely pursue adoption again. Our goal isn't to keep doing fertility treatments indefinitely. We simply want to grow our family and experience early childhood parenting at least once.

My concern is our daughter.

I'm worried she might feel like she wasn't enough for us, or that we're having a biological child because we wanted something she couldn't give us. I'm worried about her being the only Black person in the family if her sibling is biologically related to us. I'm worried about how other people might treat the children differently, seeing the IVF baby as our "real" child and our adopted daughter as somehow less ours.

Part of me wonders whether adopting again would make things easier for her emotionally, but in my country infant adoption is rare and can take 8 to 10 years. We don't want to be in our late 40s with a newborn when our daughter is already preparing to leave for college.

So for practical reasons, IVF seems like the best option. But I keep wondering whether we're overlooking an emotional impact this could have on our daughter.

Has anyone here grown up in a family where some siblings were adopted and others were biological? Or has anyone been in a similar situation as a parent?

I wrote my novel in about six months, then let it rest for seven months before starting revisions. I've now been editing for two months and I'm only on page 94. I still have about 202 pages left to go.

The problem isn't that I dislike the editing itself. Every editing session makes the manuscript noticeably better, and I'm excited to eventually send it to a professional reader/editor. The problem is how painfully slow the process feels. I'll spend hours working and only get through 10 pages or so.

I've taken writing workshops this year and they helped a lot, but at this point there's not much more to learn from them. The advice is always the same: finish the book.

So how do you deal with revision fatigue? How do you stay motivated when you know the work is helping, but the finish line still feels very far away?