IVF, pregnancy loss, friends, life
My husband and I were the first in the group to get married. We got married at 23. most of our friends got married in their late 20s. I’ve had four pregnancy losses and currently going through IVF for the past almost 3 years this, I’ve had failures and miscarriages. Within our group, we have 8 couple friends. We’ve been friends since high school, college and/or adulthood. The part that hurts the most is the fact that I am the only one that has gone through all of this and most of the in the group pregnant the first time or first try. They all planned to have their first baby together as well as their second and now planning their third. I was of course included in the plan in the beginning, but unfortunately, it never happened. In order to make me feel less bad, they still invite me to many events and family vacations, but I kindly keep my distance. although I’m happy for all my friends, the tears swell in my eyes when I see them. On top of all that all each couple also own a home with two beautiful children at least. I feel like I’m 20 steps behind, with all the money that we spent and continue to spend doing IVF,we are renting an apartment and trying to save up. I don’t know how to handle all the emotions that I feel depression, overwhelmed, much more. I feel jealous and I see monthly barbecues and meet ups, I do feel left out and I can’t wait to join for now is how I feel.