Recently my girlfriend (25F) of 4 years and I (28M) have been talking about getting married and having kids. Soon after those conversations started she began mentioning that she think my friends (who I've been friends with for 14 or more years) don't like her. I explained to her that I don't think that's the case and if she does to maybe reach out and ask. So she did. She sent a group chat to everyone and they all replied. Sone saying that they feel like she only reaches out when she needs something or is asking for donations for her job. Others saying she didn't like how she was talking about one of the other girls at a party. Someone also stated that they didn't like how she asked them all to choose her over me if we ever broke up. One of my friends wife stated she felt like she has really tired to pursue a friendship with her but every time she invites my girlfriend to something she feels like she doesn't want to be there, which the most recent being her gender reveal party for my friends first child, and my girlfriend told me she didn't want to be there and proceeded to sit in the corner and not talk to anyone or participate at all. After All the responses she told me she doesn't care about them anymore and started an argument with how she doesn't want them to be a part of her life and they will never get to know her kids. She knows that I've always talked about my best friend being a part of my wedding and my kids going to their kids birthday parties. And having barbecues where all our friends and family come over and the kids play. She told me that they would not be allowed at HER wedding. I argued that it was our wedding and we should each be able to invite the people who are imprtant in our lives and we wanted there. She told me she would not allow someone who has held onto so many thing for so long and be fake to her face attend HER wedding. I asked why she would be able to be civil with them. I never told her she had to be friends with them or even talk to them if she didn't want to. She told me she wouldn't and if she saw them in public she would say something to them. Now she is sitting here telling me all I ever do is defend my friends and not be a partner to her. She has asked me to stop being friends with them and told me "you need to grow up and give up on your childish friendships from highschool" My friends have always been a part of my life. We went to school together our whole lives, their kids call me uncle, and i am even i constant contact with the rest of they're families. I truly feel like they are a part of my family and I'm a part of theirs. The have also stuck with me through the toughest times of my life where I wasn't pleasant to be around, through my previous divorce, and through one of them moving to the opposite side of the country for multiple years.
She gave me the ultimatum that it was her or my friends. I feel like that's very childish. Am I the asshole if I am not willing to give up my friends after all that?