99.99% sure I was used
Alright so here it goes.. pretty sure I figured out what happened but still wondering and would like some outside opinions. I 25M met this pretty rad 31F. Went out on a first date and instantly hit it off. Relationship moved VERY fast. Started dating after the first date, wasn’t too worried about it because she seemed level headed and mature. Three weeks go by of us seeing each other, FaceTiming, going to the movies, making multiple plans out in advance. After a couple days of knowing her she told me she still lived with her (ex?) husband in the house they bought together but different rooms, and are currently going through a divorce and separation talks. Seeing as she told me he cheated I didn’t think much of it, just figured the guy fucked up big time with losing a woman like herself. Everything was going great, sent her a good morning text like I always do, trying to start the day off right. She replied with something typical, nothing out of the ordinary. Then we FaceTimed after I got a break from work and she told me her mom was calling and that she would text me. My work doesn’t allow phone use and she knows that. She decided that me going back to work would be the best time to send me a high school break up text telling me there are some noticed differences in values and maturity that were raising some issues. She then proceeded to block me completely on social media and tell me to not reach back out; but assured me I was truly a good man and the issues weren’t fixable overnight. She told me a couple days prior that her and the ex were having separation talks that day. She had me come over one day whilst he was still there but said I was just a friend. Me being completely blind sided by the whole situation over text, I asked what went wrong. She gave me a whole list of things that are completely contradictory as to how the 3 weeks were. Said I made jokes and comments that weren’t funny even though she was laughing and smiling ear to ear every time we talked. Said my burping was “honestly gross” even though she encouraged me to burp louder saying, ”that’s not the best you got I’ve heard better from you” and farted in front of me to get me to laugh… she said if I didn’t like period sex then there were gonna be issues, then she says I pushed for sex too hard when she was on her period, and I stopped when she asked me to as any man should. She said I questioned things about her own body because she told me the sex was so great I started her period 11 days early, all I did was make a joke saying, “nuh uh there’s no way that’s a thing”… needless to say, this was only a 3 week relationship, not that big of a deal. I just feel like I was used.. never happened to me before. She spent a bunch of money on event tickets planned out for next week, and some other things that seemed like she was investing into me with. She also said I was insecure about finances and it was a huge red flag about control issues; because I told her I wanted to be spending money on her, not the other way around. Never thought wanting to be a provider and not a money sync would be an issue in a relationship… crazy how it can go from 0 to 100 straight to 0. When I say we were hitting it off, we really were in my eyes. She said she was terrible at singing and would never do it front of me, but we sang together in the car all the time. She said she was “keeping this one”. When I opened doors for her and pulled her chair out for her she was shocked and told me no one’s ever done those things for her, and I believed her because she was so flabbergasted (I know funny word haha). 99% sure she used me to get back at/with her husband she was with for 5 years. I get it, you still got love for the guy. But when you say communication is a big deal to you and then end things over text with 0 chance of fixing things, then proceed to call the dude who was nothing but kind to you immature and to not contact you back is pretty wild work. She told her friends and family about me, her mom was excited because her ex never wanted to talk with her but I stepped right up to home plate asking how her day was making good conversation.. what do yall think? Was I used for my greater than average shaboingboing? Was I used to get back at/with her ex? Both?