u/Commercial-Ship-9196

I (32 yo F.) met my friend (let's call her Sally, 33 yo F.) 8 years ago during our first job experience. We were co-workers and we quickly became friends, we had same interests, same age etc..

Sally has always been struggling with her love life. She has strong religious and family values and some of her last boyfriend were bad (cheater, liars etc...). I have always been there for her, listenning to her stories, helping her the best way I could...

She did find a good man who became her fiancé last year, I was very happy for her and supportive unfortunately, it didn't go well. The guy ended the relationship 2 months before the wedding. They were dating for a year when he broke up, they got engage 6 months after their very first date. She was devasted! I was devasted for her. Her sister move in with her for 3 weeks, then she came to my place for 3 days. We don't live in the same city anymore, my husband and I offered her to stay more but she couldn't due do work.

She was still very fragile when she came to our place, barely eating, crying a lot and talking a lot about her trauma. My husband and I tried our best to cheer her up. She didn't want to be alone at all so it was good to have my husband there also. He was really sweet with her, we both were because we really were sad for her (her ex fiancé cancelled the wedding and also broke with her at the same time) we trully believe she deserves to find a perfect love match. Sally is very romantic, sweet, she never criticize anyone. She is really the nicest person.

She thanked us for her stay and went home.

3 months after that, she met someone else - her actually fiancé. He seems to be perfect for her. I've never met him in person but according to what she is saying there are no red flags.

I saw her twice since she came to our place. And since February, we haven't talked much - when Sally is in love she spends all her time with her boyfriend. I always knew that, and it is not an issue since I know finding her husband is her top priority in life.

In May she insisted to call me (we usually only text and meet in person), when she called she told me that her new boyfriend and her are getting married in July 2026. I was really surprised because her last wedding got cancelled 9 months ago and I was wondering if she was ready for this. She explained that she is in love and that he is everything that she ever wished. Sally is romantic but also mature. She also wants to strat a family really soon and her age starts to worry her (her older sister of 2 years is having issues conceiving). Even if, I think it may be too soon to marry someone you only know for 6 months, I'm supporting her decision. She asked me to be one of her bridesmades.

FYI: my husband met her at our wedding (3.5 year ago), he wasn't invited to the wedding that got cancelled either but it wasn't really a issue for us since he didn't really know her.

When asking about weddings details and bridesmades dresses and so on, I asked (only to be sure) if husbands were also invited. She said that "unfortunetely, that is not going to be possible since they are already inviting too many people - 150/180 people". I'm the only one of her friend who is still married (others are single or divorced).

My issues are:

- that I don't know her friends that well, I've only met them at her birthdays and her bachelorette is going to be an afternoon thing so we won't bond that much

- there are going to be 2 weddings. First one will be religious - 7 hour drive from where I live. Second one will be the party - 4 hour drive from where I live. And I don't feel going alone that far to a wedding where I am alone, without my husband.

- I'm disappointed that she didn't invite my husband. I did "understand" for the first wedding but for the second one, it doesn't seem considerate since he had been there for her in her difficult time and and he genuinely supported her. I think it is a bit rude not to invite husbands/wifes in general.

- I'm trully happy that she is getting married but I'm also surprised that she only told me in May when she got proposed in February... and the weddings are both in July.

- I went to another wedding alone 1 month ago. My husband couldn't go because he had work, I didn't enjoy going alone even if I knew half of the wedding guests. I believe it is going to be worse for me since I only know her and one of her sisters.

I haven't told her I was disappointed about her not inviting my husband. I haven't told my husband he is not invited either...

FYI, at my wedding she had no boyfriend so she came alone but I introduced her to my friends way before and we all made sure she wasn't left alone. I arranged for her carpooling with my friends and accomodation. Also, my other friends significant others were also invited so I would have invited her boyfriend if she had one at the time.

I'm thinking about going to the bachelorette and then deciding what to do.

I want to be there for her because it is a very important moment in her life but I am also disappointed about her not inviting my husband and sad for me (because I will have to go to the wedding alone).

At best I think I will only go to the closest wedding (the 4 hour drive one) and politely decline being a bridesmade.

WIBTAH? Should I attend both weddings ? Should I not attend any weddings ?

Am I over or under reacting ?

PLEASE ADVISE