So me and this girl have known each other for more than a year. We dated, then stopped seeing each other because it was too intense for her, then we slowly reconnected. We arrived to a point where we basically had a situationship, she told me that she loved me, there was an incredible connection and intimacy. She was sharing her life with me, talking about me to her friends and family constantly, also including me while with them. There has always been great chemistry, but this time it was slowly growing to something meaningful even if not structured. I kept on dating other girls, she kept on dating other guys, and it was working.
Until she started dating this other guy, and he made her become confused and guilty. She told me “I love you, why do I feel attracted to this other guy?” I told her that it was only natural, she couldn’t keep on not being interested in other guys if she kept on seeing new ones.
Point is that the other day she told me that she is really messed up at the moment, she’s feeling a lot of guilt for what she did and she’s too emotional to continue a sexual relationship with me.
It’s not the first time that she frienzoned me, and the other times we got back “together” at some point. She seems to be unable to relax and keep on seeing me when emotions get too high.
At the same time we were having a call and she told me that she still loves me while crying.
I told her to relax, like it’s not the end of the word, and we’re gonna basically see each other and hang out so that she can go through this emotional phase without having to push herself into having sex with me, something that she says she is not comfortable with at the moment.
I don’t know, I’ve seen avoidant stories, but this one just feels a bit different to me. She’s always unable to “give me what I want” in moments where she feels too much, but she keeps on being in love with me and she has never acted cold with me, also because I’ve never pushed her too much, never made her feel bad for how she behaves, and I’m generally very relaxed about this whole thing. I know what she can give and I won’t try to change her or expect more.
Anyway I doont know, I feel like I need an external opinion on this
Ps I’m also not too sure if she’s fearful or dismissive, but definitely avoidant