I (24M) compare my current girlfriend (22F) to the superscore of my exes
I (24M) have been in four serious relationships. Each ex had a standout trait: one was HOT, one was incredibly thoughtful, one was my first love (this one needs no explanation), and the 4th was just lackluster compared to all of them (I don't know how else to put it). My current gf (22F and the 4th) isn't as hot as the hot one, isn't as thoughtful as the thoughtful one, and we don't have the same bond as the first love.
Usually, these thoughts come out when she's disappointing me, like when she meets my parents and doesn't bring anything, even though she said she'd bring fruit or a gift. So I'd start to subconsciously think, "she's not as caring as my other ex.
I know it’s not fair to compare her to the superscore (SAT reference lol) of my exes but I can't stop thinking this way, and actually thought like this with my second and third girlfriend as well.
I don't know if this is a normal thing people do, or if it's something I need to actively try to overcome but I know that this has sabotaged my past relationships... especially with the hot one (also 22F). I broke up wth her because she didn't care for me like the second one; even though she'd cook and massage me, I'd think "well, it's not as good as when the second one used to do it". This is one of my biggest regrets XD.
What are some ways someone can train themselves to stop doing this comparison spiral, and instead focus on who’s in front of them now? Has anyone else overcome this?
edit: I realize I come across narcisstic, which is understandable. But I just expect a lot from my S/O because I give a lot. I pay for their rent/bills if they need assistance, I go out of my way to always prioritize them.