u/Commercial_Ice3372

It's a curse to be alone for so long, I'm already very tired, from childhood until I'm almost 19 years old, Everyone always thought I was weird and only when I joked did they notice, although because of this they considered me the class clown, I hate people now, even though I used to try so hard for them. Now I help animals, not people,How many times have I been disappointed even though I always tried to be kind to people, I became alone, I began to draw characters from stories for them, but they are still not real people, I spend the rest of my time on music, In general, it has always been easier for me to communicate with girls, especially creative ones, But why do I have this curse where everyone leaves without even saying goodbye or doesn't even notice? It's so stupid to even write a post on Reddit.

I've always had a hard time with people. I was very active as a child, but at school I was always pushed into the background. I never had any real friends, no one. I often tried to be cheerful,It's funny to attract attention, but no, I was called the class clown back then. I'm already in college and tired of making jokes and again in the background somewhere, It's also difficult for me to communicate because I love all kinds of creativity(But I enrolled in a programmer program and it was a fatal mistake. I don’t understand anything. My town doesn’t have anything like that, any creative topics) i like drawing, djent music, progressive rock, a little post-hardcore, I like to create characters that no one will see anyway, Although I post them on the internet, well, except for Reddit, the world in Ukraine is so gray I'm already so tired of everything, and it's always been easier for me to communicate with girls, but still no one stayed with me for long, It would be best for me to find someone who is also creative like me and probably lonely ,I'll probably delete this post in a couple of days, as always.