I have a horrible pattern obsessing over my bosses. At my last job, it got so bad that I ended up quitting. When I did, he apologized because he said he knew I liked him and used it as an excuse to get me to do more work.
Now I’m in the same pattern. I’ve fallen into the same trap where I’m obsessed with my boss, even though I know he has zero feelings for me.
I am pretty good at my job and tend to over work myself just to impress him. As a result, I have basically no work/life balance… I’m well aware that he just likes the work I do, but not me (in that way).
I try really hard to not let it show and never to cross a line that would make him realize how I feel, because I know it’s not reciprocated and it would be horribly embarrassing.
But honestly, this is hell. I think about him 24/7, and there isn’t a moment my mind gives me a break. I’m super depressed, I’m overworked, and I can seem to break this pattern. I’ve thought about quitting, but I know I’ll just do this at my next job and honestly I have a pretty decent job and don’t want to leave it.