I’ll start off by saying we moved way too fast and our expectations didn’t align throughout and now we’re facing this constant resentment and lack of respect and communication. We met in June 2024, Pregnant/Homeowners February 2025, Married May 2025.
We have a 6 month old, and things have been getting worse between us over the past few weeks. We started couples therapy, but it feels like we’re making lower lows. We’ll have a moment where it’s hopeful, then shit hits the fan again, if not worse than before.
We’ve had multiple arguments about communication, respect, and finances. Recently it escalated to the point where we’re talking about separating while still living in the same house. During the argument she called me multiple slurs to make me feel bad and I know I’ve also said things that didn’t help. This wouldn’t be the first time she’s called me these things and unfortunately I’m numb to it all.
One of the biggest issues right now is around our baby’s routine. I’ve been consistently handling daycare drop-offs and pickups, and I’m trying to keep things stable for her. My wife now wants to start doing those things as well, which I understand, but it also feels like everything is turning into a back-and-forth about roles and control instead of focusing on what’s best for our child.
We also had a situation with money where she made a significant purchase (Ozempic) without discussing it, but in the past had an issue when I made a financial decision (consolidating my debt) without talking to her. That added to the feeling of inconsistency and frustration on my end.
At this point I’ve spoken with a lawyer to understand my options, and it’s starting to feel very real. I’m trying to stay calm and make decisions based on what’s best for my child, but mentally it’s a lot to process all at once.
For anyone (mostly involved fathers) who’s been through something similar:
- How do you stay grounded when everything is escalating quickly?
- How do you balance wanting fairness with trying to keep things calm for your child?
- At what point did you realize things were fixable vs not?
I’m not looking to bash her. I just want to make sure I’m thinking clearly and not reacting emotionally in a situation that’s obviously bigger than just me.
Disclaimer: Post utilized AI to generate summary.