Im drowning
im a 21 year old student living with her bf - i feel like such an idiot i dont know when it got to this point but im drowning in debt and cards and everything. i havent gone uni in months because of all the stress. Every pay check i get just goes straight to gambling. My bf knows and he trys but he isnt the best support system- i have one friend i can talk to it to and the rest think its some sort of joke “whats the odds” “i bet” constantly from them when they know i struggle with gambling. Its messing with every aspect of my life and i hate it. i hate myself. its just a wall of shame constantly. I want money to go and do normal things not sit and waste it on sites but i do it every time. i cant stop.
It makes me want to start selfharming again or go back to my eating disorder but both of those were a lot easier to quit than im finding gambling to quit. I just want to feel normal again.