I'm 15 and my parents have been emotionally abusing me for a long time now calling me useless and worthless constantly and saying I'm not trying (mind you I was tested and diagnosed with adhd), taking my phone and laptop leaving me with nothing to do. No music, no talking to friends, no youtube or tiktok, basically no contact with the outside world. I wouldn't even be allowed to go outside with my friends or go outside and walk or read a book after an argument (which is at least 5 days each week no exaggeration).
A lot of the time these arguments would lead to my dad threatening to hurt me, never let me see anything related to fun again or just flat out threaten to kill me and my mom would act like it either didn't happen or was ok. A lot of that has been causing me trauma for a while now I even started to have suicidal thoughts somewhere in April after my birthday on the 20th last year. I was actually planning to commit using my dads gun when my mom walked in. I tried to play it off as boredom inspecting the bullets but I think she realized or at least assumed it was an attempt at first because she started to tear up and she tried not to cry while I was pulling lies out my ass to convince her there was no problem.
After that I thought things would change. Spoiler alert they did not. In like late March more of my classmates started to realize something wasn't right and as of now half the class knows I'm depressed which makes school really fucking weird now, partially because I'm supposed to be the funny happy guy thats friends with everyone I literally got the ray of sunshine award last year. I'm lowk getting off track.
Onto the current problem, like 30 minutes ago (when I js started typing all this) my dad came home and before he did anything else he came in like was irritated or angry or sm he was told me to put my clothes in the washing machine. I said coming while I was looking for something on youtube to watch on the tv while eating and he started shouting really loud and said "DID YOU HEAR ME?!?! I SAID GO TAKE UP THE CLOTHES" so I got up and did it.
Afterwards he started saying that if I 'ignored' him again he would throw or hit me with whatever he had in his hand and started listing pot, plate, wood, ect. I told him I didn't ignore him and I said "I'm coming", and when he said the other thing I said I would have to defend myself and do the same if that happened. My mom heard everything bc she was getting ready to leave and got on MY ass???? Saying how I was out of line and shouldn't have said that. I asked her if it was alright for him to hit me with a pot and this lady said yes and proceeded to use my neighbours mom slapping him with her hand as a comparison.
I'm standing there thinking what the fuck, I must either be either retarded as shit or insane. Forgot to mention my mom was cussing me with my dad the whole time when he was on abt my clothes. After my mom left my dad said if I even try that he would either kill me or if he doesn't I would have to find somewhere to live.
Now the big question am I actually in the wrong for that. Like I didn't do enough to exaggerate how much my mom was putting me in the wrong for you guys to get why I'm wondering this.