In the video "Why Giving Up Addiction Feels Impossible," Dr. K explains how you can still be emotionally invested in an addictive behavior or substance for literal decades, and that "truly" severing that attachment and accepting the emptiness that follows is the only way to heal. That sucks, but fair enough.
My question is: what actually triggers that cutoff point?
What's the difference between someone who "suddenly wakes up one day and realizes that enough is enough," and someone who doesn't? What's the difference between someone who e.g. is still an alcoholic after 30 years, and someone who "truly" overcomes their addiction after only 10?
My impression of the video is that this withdrawing process is not something you can control. It's all RNG, a series of outside events that happens TO you. Is that really true? Are there ways you can consciously speed up or otherwise influence this process?
Or does it really all just come down to time and luck?