i had a suspicion that I had PMDD since i was 14 years old, because I was so confused why i would get such deep fits of sadness that would genounely engluf me. it wasnt normal, but i brushed it off as pms. but ever since learning more about pmdd and tracking my symptoms, i realized this is what i have because its so cyclical. its been around 5 years since i realized, but i havent really done much to try and deal with it.
but it is really starting to take a toll on me. i told my mom i think i have it recently and she told me that "its ok everyone gets sad." but i dont think she understands the level of sadness and pain i have to endure each month. it genuinely destroys me
pmdd has ruined all my relationships, made me some crazy psycho girl who doesnt trust her boyfriend and hates him every month , made me isolate myself away from all friends in my first year of college, its made me unable to focus and study.
i struggle so much with pmdd and with how much i hate myself each month. i only feel somewhat okay for at least one week of the month and that week is just me recovering or trying to recover from all the turmoil pmdd puts me through. even though i recognize that i am going through a pmdd episode, it doesnt help and i cant seem to turn off the extreme depression i feel and i literally never feel happy anymore. i know that this is not who i am- but in a way- it is. i know that i could be happy but theres something in my brain stopping me from being so. im always down in the trenches thinking about how different my life would be if i could be mentally stable. i dont hate anyone around me pmdd makes me hate myself/ my life so much and i feel at fault for everything that went wrong.
its too much to handle for me and i geniunely dont know what to do anymore. i feel like there is something so wrong with me and i wish i could just be normal
plsss help how do u guys deal with this? i appreciate any and all advice