r/PMDD

Hello. I'm currently in my luteal phase and, as always, I've been suffering from suicidal thoughts. I've been having them since I was 12, and this continuous on-and-off cycle, where I'm fine for a while and then truly want to end my life the next, is exhausting me. I'm so tired of dealing with these thoughts, and it has been getting harder and harder to manage them. I'm extremely tired and I'm afraid of something bad happening in the future. I'm aware now that these thoughts go away once I get my period, so I just try to tolerate them and I do not have any intention right now. But since it keeps getting worse every year, I'm just a bit afraid of my own state of mind during these times.

I don't take any medication, and I don't have the money to see a psychiatrist who could prescribe me antidepressants. Is there anyone here who is in the same situation and can give me some advice? How do you generally cope with this every month?

my neighbour just asked me to move my car so her friend can park outside her house and i literally feel like the devil just rose from the ground and took over me and i am now just angry crying on the kitchen floor thinking what an absolute bitch she is (i literally don’t know this woman idk why i gaf)

phewwww. I hosted my annoying SIL for a week and a day without crashing out on her or myself even though I have been struggling all in luteal! I’m proud!

I've been on continuous BC for the last 2.5 years and while my symptoms got better at first, after 6 months they came back and have progressively gotten worse, now they are fully back and not only that my cycle is 15 days now so I have a luteal phase every other week.

I am looking into getting a new gyno (just moved... and the first gyno I found literally disappeared without a trace with no warning 🥴)

But I know it's kind of pointless. I already know they will tell me, ok, do you want to go off your BC? Want to try a new BC? Want to try more SSRIs?

With all of it being fully trial and error with no real science or testing behind it (in terms of specific tests they can do to figure out what will help me as an individual). And in terms of playing around with going off my BC of course I can do that at home. Not to mention supplements that potentially help people but no western doctor will recommend them (not that any supplements have helped me 🫠).

And of course PMDD symptoms vary for every person (eg mine is mainly fatigue and SSRIs don't do anything).

I am sad for both us and the doctors too tbh because I know they just don't have any other solutions. The science just doesn't exist.

[NB: Please NO comments about how being single is better and having a partner would make things worse]

All the chores simply pile up during luteal phase because I don't have the physical energy to do anything other than the bare minimum at work. All the while feeling guilty because I see people around me keeping up with their lives so much better. Can't invite anyone over because my apt is such a disaster most days.

Then spend my good weeks frantically catching up on chores and work instead of enjoying that time that I feel good.

I end up spending money on takeout because I have no energy to cook, if I haven't been able to meal prep and freeze meals for myself during my good weeks. At least I feel lucky to still have a job and be able to afford this.

Hug pillows because I don't have anyone to give me a hug when that's the thing I need the most. White knuckle my way through SI every month because I can't put that on people every single month.

Stare into space at home alone because I have no energy to socialize. Asking people over and over to check in even a text, but eventually giving up because people just forget I exist after a while.

Not being able to talk about or explain it to anyone because they don't actually SEE how bad it is and without seeing it they're unable to imagine how it is, and if they do happen to witness me breaking down in tears they assume it's a one off, not something I'm dealing with, alone, 7-10 days every single month.

Stopped trying to date because I am too fried to deal with any rejection or any kind of situation that requires dealing with more emotions.

Grit my teeth through doctors gaslighting me about my symptoms because I'm already barely staying present in the conversation and I don't have anyone to back me up or advocate for me.

I'm finally taking the time to make a post about this, for those who may need to hear it.

I am diagnosed through a private GP with PMDD, my mother got diagnosed in the 90's.

I realised that the more I read everyone's posts on this sub, the more I started wondering if I was misdiagnosed. Perhaps it was partially my CPTSD that mirrored a lot of the PMDD symptoms.

I got to the point where I was thinking it wasn't possible for me to have PMDD because I just don't get it as severe as many here.

I don't try to medicate for it, I'm in the UK so some of the meds being spoken about are either not available here or are under different names, but I honestly am not even seeking out medication because I can't cope with all the possible side effects. (I was prescribed progesterone cream to take 10 days each month but it did nothing and was expensive)

This is mainly because I've had a really hard time finding a SSRI for my depression/anxiety and have been on lots of bad medications through the years for my chronic pain.

So I kept thinking "maybe I'm mistaken and I don't have PMDD because everyone seems to have it much worse than me"

I spoke to my therapist about it, she's had several PMDD patients, one who had a hysterectomy because of how bad her symptoms were. (It was purely anecdotal, absolutely no personal info given by my therapist) She had to remind me not to compare myself to minimize my own suffering.

I still have days when I think I'm just such a messed up human being who blames an illness I don't have. But the fact is I've been properly diagnosed.

But what I want to say is, if you are like me, and you think to yourself that perhaps you don't have PMDD, or you avoid making posts on this sub, please remember that PMDD is definitely not one-size-fits-all.

Like many other illnesses, it will manifest differently for everyone.

I'm lucky to have milder symptoms, but also, I have a great therapist and the best husband in the world, so my support system is likely making a big difference.

However you suffer, it's valid.

Love to you all

I saw a psychiatrist who upped my Prozac to 60mg a day... He said I had to do a minimum of 3 months on this dose, then an SNRI, or I'd basically never be considered for a hysterectomy. I've already done every hormonal everything and it never helped me. I don't want kids and I have awful periods so I know the surgery is what I want. Problem is that I'm on the 60mg of Prozac through the hottest time of the year and I am sweating like a mf.

I'm a fat lady so summer heat is never my bestie but I have never ever experienced sweat like it. I went up to 60mg on Tuesday and I am sweating through my clothes every day and sheets every night. I'm chugging water to keep hydrated but if I dare go out my hair is PLASTERED to me and I literally leave sweat marks on seats. It's so grim. Any advice for getting through the next 3 months of sweaty torture?

I (28F) have been diagnosed with PMDD about a year ago but it obviously has been going on years. I’ve noticed symptoms getting worse and longer. My cycle is longer. Period is longer. Symptoms stronger. I keep all of my rage inside. I handle my anxiety with a therapist and other coping tools but how do yall usually feel throughout your cycle? I feel like I get 4 days of feeling okay and that’s it now. It feels hopeless. Is this all the way until menopause? How do you all cope?

It’s the Fourth of July and I’m fake laughing and smiling, while trying to old back my tears. Idk why I’m sad. Well I do it’s this Fkn PMDD I’m so tired of this cycle over and over. Should I just cry ?? I feel like it will trigger a whole episode, but holding it in is heavy. Then everyone asks what’s wrong and I’m like “idk”

I am hearing/seeing mixed opinions on whether a hysterectomy/oophorectomy actually works to cure pmdd. Is it true that even with a hysterectomy one can still have symptoms? I am on continuous BC and still have symptoms so I believe it could be possible if so.

I am in a desperate place and considering if I should do the hysterectomy route (this would be after trying chemical menopause which I have not done yet).

Also in case it matters, my main symptom is extreme fatigue (a lot of people have mood issues more than fatigue which may be different).

Hello guys, I started taking the slinda/slynd pill about 2-3 weeks ago due to diagnosed pmdd about 4 weeks ago. it started without any problems for about 2-3 days. then it slowly creeped in, i felt like i was straight in my luteal phase but 10x worse. i experience gastro issues, crazy mood swings, thirst and dry mouth,insomina, crying spells…
one day, but only for a couple hours i was really euphoric , but then everything crashed. i have really bad brain fog, concentration issues and memory loss. i work at the doc office and forgot names from the patients i know for years… its just really scary. im also aggressive and really moody towards my partner, it hurts me so so much, i could control my mood „better“ without this pill and be a better human being even during luteal phase.

i know that it can maybe take some time to get used to but i cant get trought this because of my relationsships and work.

maybe someone can share their experience and how i should handle this situation. i also want to call my gyn on monday. she said the other way would be taking ssri but im kinda scared now.

To be fair, we are in a dead bedroom relationship. This had been an ongoing issue for years. He goes weeks without touching me, and when I bring up my needs he denies there is any problem. To make matters worse I am an attractive exotic dancer and people cannot even conceive how I could be in this situation. He makes a thousand excuses. When we do have sex it's ten minutes long max and focused on his pleasure. I told him about A hundred times I want to be eaten out and he won't do it. He is incapable of planning a date. Is constantly tired. Won't see a doctor about his fatigue or libido (grown man btw without a GP) . I ask him for flowers constantly and he can't even buy me a 5 dollar bouquet. Meanwhile I show up to all his family events, everything trying to be a good girlfriend. Making effort. His excuse? ' I'm tired! ' dude works 3 days a week and is the most tired 37 year old I've ever encountered.

I've tried to leave him before but he always ropes me back in somehow saying he'll change and he's sorry and he'll make more effort. And then as soon as he gets me back the effort is out the window. It's currently been over 3 weeks since he's touched me and I bring it up he looks at me like I have 3 heads. I cannot live like this anymore. It is so isolating and my chest burns in jealousy if I hear about anyone who's boyfriend fucks them for an hour straight, eats them out, plans A dinner date.

I cannot do this anymore. Please give me strength to not go back.

I’ve noticed that I get sooo sleep, I can sleep 10 hours and still feel drowsy all day. Also, I get so so bloated it’s not even funny. Just ONE day after ovulation, my boobs will get sore, I’ll feel sleepy, sad and SO bloated. I’m not even joking, I barely eat and I feel so bloated. Like today it’s 6pm and all I had was some oats for brekkie and then two sandwiches and now I feel sooo bloated I can’t even focus on my study. Every part of my body feels so heavy and achy even though I sleep SO fucking much. Is this common ? Is there a cure for this because it lasts for 10-11 days after ovulation and doesn’t go away until my period comes. That means that I get 10-11 days of hell followed by another 2-3 days of hell when the period comes which is like half a month of agony 😭 How can I stop the bloating ugh. I MISS NOT BEING BLOATED.

Over the past few months, I’ve noticed some of my most nauseous/ queasy days are the days following my period and before or during ovulation.

Before my period, I may get a little queasy as well, but I swear it’s not as bad as how I feel at the end or after it ends…

Anyone know what causes this?

Hey, I just saw this place existed and I have a question. I asked my gyno if PMDD was a possibility after hearing about it. She said I "couldn't have that while on birth control" (I'm on vienva). Is that really a thing? Btw, this was over a year ago.

I think I already know the answer, but I'm constantly questioning myself on almost everything. Especially since I was diagnosed with IAD.

I honestly can’t believe I’m writing this but my period started today… and for the first time in years, I didn’t realise it was coming because I didn’t have the usual PMDD spiral beforehand.

No crying every day. No feeling like everyone hates me. No thinking I’m a terrible person. No thoughts about driving off a bridge or not wanting to be here. No overwhelming sense that life wasn’t worth living. I just… got my period.

I’m only about a week and a half into taking escitalopram (10mg daily), and still feel extremely fatigued, so I’m obviously not claiming this is a miracle cure or that one cycle means it’s “fixed.” But I’m genuinely shocked.

What’s even crazier is that life hasn’t exactly been calm. Over the past several months I’ve:
-watched my nan go through cancer and lose her seven months ago, and I’m still in grief counselling
-had my endometriosis surgery cancelled after waiting years because my thyroid worsened out of range
-been trying to increase thyroid medication slowly after previously reacting really badly to it
-rushed my dog to the emergency vet
-dealt with a bed bug infestation (ughhhh)
-been working in a stressful, understaffed job with uncertainty about my role
-lost a couple of close friendships during my grief, leaving me with a much smaller support system with the majority now either pregnant or with babies so I rarely see them

For years I put off taking an SSRI because I only felt awful for part of the month. I worried it would change my personality or numb me when I actually felt okay. Instead, I just feel… like myself. Just more balanced.

If you’ve ever gone from “I don’t want to be here anymore” to “what the hell was that?” the moment your period arrives, you’ll understand why I’m so emotional (in a good way) writing this. I really hope this is the start of something better.

I know this is only my first cycle, so I’m keeping realistic expectations. But if this resonates with anyone who’s been sitting on the fence about trying medication because you’re worried it’s admitting defeat, or that it’ll change who you are, I hope this gives you another perspective.

PMDD is a real condition. It’s not a lack of willpower, and needing treatment isn’t a failure.

I’m actually quite overwhelmed by the fact that I don’t feel overwhelmingly low. I didn’t realise how much I was surviving each month until this month felt… normal. I know the pain is coming soon due to endometriosis but to not have that emotional turmoil on top is such a relief.

If this helps even one person feel less scared about asking for help, it’ll be worth sharing 🩷