Hello, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She lives in Dallas and she longs to go star gazing. I want to take her. On a short getaway within driving distance to a place where she can see the stars in a peaceful setting. I’m from LA so I’d appreciate any suggestions.
This poem is for any parent that feels crushed by the challenges they face.
Motherhood is not what I expected and I wrote this poem to help process having a child with severe health issues.
Acceptance has been a major theme of my time as a mother. Acceptance has allowed for hope to creep in through the cracks.
Beyond the Sky
Resistant to my unmaking—
I bend and fold,
softening sharp edges,
macerating, pleading.
I wrestle.
I hold you.
I tire.
Darkness tempered
by the torch in my palm.
Desperate for answers
buried in brick,
yearning for calm.
I search.
I wait.
Nothing comes.
Hope—
fluttering beyond the sky,
that thing with feathers:
fickle, wry.
Somewhere, there is music,
faint and far.
I dare not listen.
Somewhere, there is light, skirting
the edges of night.
I cannot bear to look.
breathe—
release, unravel—
I watch for that flicker.
I watch for that flame.
yielding
to a darkness I cannot tame.
—r.b.p
Background:
My 5 month old has a two holes in her heart and a leaky valve. Her cardiac issues impact her breathing and ability to gain weight. It also causes developmental delays.
She also stopped eating on her own so she is fed through a nasal gastric tube that goes up her nose and down her throat. We have to keep her hands bound because she rips the tube out. I have to replace her tube every month or more often if she rips it out. It is quite traumatic for my daughter.
This poem is for any parent that feels crushed by the challenges they face.
Motherhood is not what I expected and I wrote this poem to help process having a child with severe health issues.
Acceptance has been a major theme of my time as a mother. Acceptance has allowed for hope to creep in through the cracks.
Beyond the Sky
Resistant to my unmaking—
I bend and fold,
softening sharp edges,
macerating, pleading.
I wrestle.
I hold you.
I tire.
Darkness tempered
by the torch in my palm.
Desperate for answers
buried in brick,
yearning for calm.
I search.
I wait.
Nothing comes.
Hope—
fluttering beyond the sky,
that thing with feathers:
fickle, wry.
Somewhere, there is music,
faint and far.
I dare not listen.
Somewhere, there is light, skirting
the edges of night.
I cannot bear to look.
breathe—
release, unravel—
I watch for that flicker.
I watch for that flame.
yielding
to a darkness I cannot tame.
—r.b.p
Background:
My 5 month old has a two holes in her heart and a leaky valve. Her cardiac issues impact her breathing and ability to gain weight. It also causes developmental delays.
She also stopped eating on her own so she is fed through a nasal gastric tube that goes up her nose and down her throat. We have to keep her hands bound because she rips the tube out. I have to replace her tube every month or more often if she rips it out. It is quite traumatic for my daughter.