u/Competitive-Mix6691

I have nobody else to actually talk to so i just wanted to get this off my chest. I put a gun to my head today and really wanted to pull the trigger. I am deeply sorry if i am not allowed to say that, but life has been getting so hard and i just feel like a huge disappointment. I am a huge let down to everyone and i feel like such a burden to everyone. I really feel like even therapy sessions are just a waste of time and effort i tried many times to reach out but failed every time because i was scared or didn't want to bother people with my problems that is what i get for being a people pleaser. my social anxiety is telling me everyone hates me and i should kms i can't even go outside without a panic attack, so it's been hard to actually work also and just live a normal life. It has been getting bad i don't even want to leave my bed anymore i just stare at the ceiling fan most days in the dark feeling so freaking numb i am tired of crying myself to sleep every night. I just feel lost and out of ideas of what to do and if i didn't get this off my chest it would break me even more i am glad i could vent anybody reading this thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️