The situation is complicated or i started seeing it this way.. i need guidance I feel shattered
Ive been in friendship with a great man since 2020 he is ( 28 M ) and I’m (24 F) he was in a serious loving relationship until his girlfriend passed away 5 years ago. All of our mutual friends stopped texting/ supporting him as he was grieving that made him more depressed. I was there all the time supporting him through the very difficult time, over years he started handling his grief better and he became more stable and started helping me and support me with hardships i go through. We bonded as friends then feelings started kicking in from My side, but i was ignoring them and felt guilty for it.
He treats me very well supports me in a way nobody ever did before. To the extent that sometimes i get confused why i get this so much help and support from him? Whether morally, emotionally or financially. He then told me that he sees me more than a friend .. but never really understood how, he needs time and therapy to figure his self out. We stayed in a situationship for 2 years until a month ago he came up to me telling me that he wants a future with me.. although he have that desire to create future with me but he is still battling depression and he feels empty all the time. But never stopped showing up for me.
He says are you going to accept me knowing i feel empty all the time?
And all i am thinking of how could we start a future knowing I won’t be able to feel loved ?
I’m I demanding ? when i tell him i need to feel loved although he have no control over his emptiness?
I told him as long as you are trying to change that by taking meds and going to therapy I am willing to be with you forever.
But it aches me knowing there is a possibility I won’t be loved or hear the word love you. I do not know sometimes i feel like i have to convince myself that not all relationships are perfect and if i have a caring, supporting and loving partner (loving by actions but not words or feeling since he has no control over due to medication and depression) that would be enough to be happy.
I feel lost and overwhelmed and torn
Can i hear your thoughts and advices please?