I’m [23f] dating a [18m] who just confessed that he’s lied about his age. The whole time I thought he was 20
I met a guy recently and from the day we met we haven’t gone a day without talking. I’ve been staying over at his place most weeks on my days off and we’ve grown very close. I’ve developed real feelings for him and he’s treated me better than any man I’ve ever been with. I genuinely saw potential for a serious relationship.
When we first met, he told me he was 20. I was already a bit unsure because I don’t usually date younger men, but he seemed very mature, worked, took care of me and everything about his life felt consistent. I also met his friends and family, and nothing ever made me question it.
There were a couple of small inconsistencies along the way (for example, things he said about his home life), but I put that down to him maybe not being fully open at the beginning.
Last night he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I decided to ask him directly if he was being fully honest with me. He got very upset and said he was a bad person and that I didn’t deserve what he’d done. That made me worried there was something bigger going on.
He then admitted he lied about his age and that he is actually 18, not 20. He said he was scared I would leave if I knew the truth.
I feel completely shocked and stuck because I’ve genuinely fallen for him. But I also feel uncomfortable with the age difference (I’m 23, turning 24 soon), especially knowing he wasn’t honest from the start. I also feel embarrassed that people around him knew and went along with it. I don’t know how I can trust anyone anymore if someone who was so good to me could deceive me like this.
I don’t really know what to do now. I feel hurt, confused, and a bit sick about the situation, especially as we’ve been intimate. I’m not ready to tell people in my real life yet, so I’m just looking for some outside perspective or advice. But I love him so much I know I need to be strong this relationship cannot continue I cannot date an 18 year old.