u/CompleteLab1267

I 19f got back into contact with a guy 19m that i have a long history with. We met on Wizz 4 years ago and dated for a little over a month but I broke up with him because I was a stupid 15 year old. 2 years ago, we coincidentally met again on Wizz, talked for a bit, and he ended up driving 8 hours round trip one day to see me, but I was an idiot and rejected him for my ex. While dating said ex I found out that i’m moving to the same city and college as him, and a little after we broke up we got back into contact. i’ve always been the type to just talk to one person at once, but I felt like that screwed me over in the past and I was scared of settling on one person getting my heart broken this time.

Early into a talking, when it was more so just catching up, he expressed that he was upset that I was going on a date with someone else when he asked what I was doing and I was honest. I told him that I see exclusivity as a conversation and that we weren’t exactly talking yet in a romantic sense. A few weeks later, he told me just if I go on a date to not tell him and only tell him if something bad happens.

Around two weeks ago I drove three hours to see him and I had a great time, well there I deleted every dating app and rejected the that were showing me interest outside of him.

I had a different guy dm me and ask me to hang out with him since then and the guy seem nice so I said yes, it went ok but I didn’t have any physical attraction to said guy and when he asked me to hang out again, he asked me to come over. I‘m an idiot and trusted that It would be innocent so I said yes, but was upfront about not wanting to do anything sexual and the guy reciprocated. Unfortunately, the guy did something that heavily breached my boundaries against my consent and I ended up telling the guy that I’m talking to about it.

In the moment, I didn’t realize it was as bad as it was because I didn’t think we were exclusive because we haven’t had a direct conversation about it yet and had told me to tell him if something bad happens. A few days before the situation when talking to him about exclusivity, I told him to just bring it up with me whenever he wants and he said he would let me know. He got really upset about the situation, he said that it was miscommunication, but still voiced that he felt like he couldn’t trust me and that someone who liked him wouldn’t do that. He told me that because he told me he wasn’t talking to anyone else that it was basically implied, but I had told him to upfront about i. He essentially said that he doesn’t know if he likes me still and needs space but doesn’t know if or when he’ll reach out really. I honestly begged him to hear me out like an idiot, but he was firm.

I’m genuinely heartbroken over this, he was always a little vague about what he wanted because he wanted to take things slow, and I was honestly scared of losing him and being alone. I to date him, but I didn’t know if he wanted to date me and I just didn’t wanna end up alone with no one in the long run. In retrospect, I should’ve just asked his intentions because he did end up telling me that he wanted to date me before all of this.

I’m not the type to fall in love easy at all, I’ve fallen in love with two people in my entire life and I’m scared. I’ve never had any desire to get back with any ex other than him, and he’s the only guy that I’ve ever stopped talking to but still thought highly of. I’ve never had to stop talking to someone while I still love them, both exes that I fell in love with in the past I ended up falling out of love with and leaving and this is the first for me. I didn’t really realize until he was gone the gravity of how I felt and I genuinely feel sick.

I doubt he has reddit or anything and i needed to get this off my chest.

So I 19f have been talking to a guy 19m for the past 2 months and we had a pretty lengthy past. We met online at 15 and dated for about a month, reconnected 2 years ago by coincidence on the same app but I rejected him for my ex, then learned recently were actually going to the same college and we started talking regularly since me and said ex broke up. Up until a few weeks ago It was mostly just reconnecting, and just started to get a little more serious.

Sadly, he asked me for space. We live about 3 hours away from each other and I saw him 2 weeks ago. He was upset very early on into us chatting (around 2 months ago) that I was going on other dates and I explained that we weren’t exactly talking in the moment, more-so reconnecting, and that exclusivity is a conversation for later on.

After we hung out, I was really hopeful for something serious with him in the future but I still didn’t know what he wanted. He’s for very up front about his emotions i’m horrible at picking up on things not explicitly said. I had a different guy asked me to hang out a fee days ago and it went all right, but I didn’t feel any romantic interest towards that guy. Said guy ended up asking me to hang out again and go to his house, while i didn’t have much interest (i even complained beforehand to my brother and coworker), he was nice and seemed to respect my boundaries so i said yes. Well, I was sleeping and he ended up doing something inappropriate towards me even though I voiced that I did not want to do anything sexual. I vaguely told the guy that I’m talking to that I need some space because something had happened and he wanted to know the specifics.

A few days before this, I had talked to the guy that I’m interested in a little bit more about exclusivity. He told me that he wasn’t talking to anyone, but I didn’t know if that was out of his own accord or that there was no one around him that he could see himself with. I told him to just bring it up if he ever wants to talk about it and he said “i’ll lyk”.

He wasn’t upset at the assault at all of course, but he was upset I hung out with another guy while saying that was interested in him. I was confused because he said he would let me know about exclusivity, but apparently he just thought it would be implied. I told him that I was always upfront about it and he had even in the past told me if I went on dates to just not tell him.he but then even more upset by the fact and just needed space.

After a long talk he told me that he didn’t know if he could trust me anymore. He felt like somebody who liked him wouldn’t do that and ended up asking for space. Basically he doesn’t really know if he likes me anymore and doesn’t wanna put a time on it cause he doesn’t wanna give me false hopes if he ends up not wanting to peruse anything. His last message to me was “thank you and we will see what happens i don’t want to promise anything yet but idk. i’ll need to see how i feel.”.

Obviously, I really like this guy, and the weird guy was the only guy I’d even hung out with since I hung out with him. I did it because I wasn’t really sure if the guy I like was wary about me because of our past or if he was genuinely interested in in pursuing something in the future with me because he is pretty standoffish with his emotions. Worst of all, apparently he did want to date me, so no need to tell me i screwed up, i know.

So I guess here’s is my dilemma since we’re not talking at the moment. The guy i’m interested in loves a pretty niche manga, he has all published books on display in his room, reposts a ton of content on TikTok, and was even trying to convince me to read it. Well, I was doing a deep dive on the manga and was looking into my little merchandise there is of it. Doing that I ended up stumbling up on someone selling a first print copy of the Japanese version of the manga for a little less than $100. For a collectors item this is a pretty good price and there is quite literally one listing on anything.

He’s not a materialistic guy at all, but I know how much he loves this manga. My issue is that I don’t wanna pass it up because we’re not talking at the moment, someone buy it, and then we ended up dating and me regret it. We’re going to go to the same college so I suppose even if we don’t end up dating, we’d likely be friends, so worst comes to worst I could sell it or give it to him anyway. It would take a bit to arrive even if I got it so it’s not like I’d be trying to but him over or anything, but I don’t know if it’s dumb to just go ahead and buy it.