8 months sober but still thinking about it
For years I smoked heavily and abused my adderall prescription. I ended up being involuntarily committed to a treatment center after running out because I couldn’t pass a drug test to get a refill and went into psychosis. I was there for 21 days and tried to go back to work after but still was having psychosis symptoms and ultimately ended up quitting the job, having to give up my apartment, and moving in with my parents in another state. I’m in the process of trying to file for bankruptcy because of how bad things got during my addiction. It’s been over 8 months without any substances now but I still think about and dream about smoking and taking adderall again. I miss the motivation I had when I was taking it and the carelessness I had when I was smoking. I haven’t tried going back to work yet because I needed surgery for an unrelated injury, but I’m almost healed and going to be looking for work very soon. I go to therapy and see a psychiatrist regularly now but I don’t know how to heal the part of me that still itches to use again. I’m terrified I won’t be as productive at work and won’t be as successful as I was before. Has anyone here dealt with the depression and cravings after quitting and have any tips on how to manage? Deeply appreciate this space and all of you for making it safe, TYIA!