u/Complex_Ad_7810

i have a ‘25 honda crv hybrid sport, and a peach milkshake (with chunks) was spilled on the driver door and it got into the window housing, inside handle, and window switches. best to just throughly rinse out the door panel through the window housing and dry or should i just take the door panel off to make sure it’s fully clean?

don’t want to take the door panel off if unnecessary, but also don’t want potentially rotting peach chunks in my door in the florida heat 🤢

to preface: diagnosed ASD level 1 in february and slowly feel myself unmasking and experiencing skill regression

my partner and i (both 24f) have been together about 4 months and have recently been getting into the same type of disagreements/ arguments and i feel like im at a loss. most of these arguments stem from me not doing “something a girlfriend should know to do” or saying something that comes off mean/ she takes as me calling her annoying/ that she is bothering me.
any time i’ve been given feedback on how to improve, i’ve taken it in and worked on fixing said thing, but it feels like there are just some things i don’t know how to “fix”. i get nervous that at times im using my diagnosis as an excuse, but i truly don’t know what else to do.
i talk about these situations in therapy and ask my therapist for honest feedback on how i handled the situation and what i could have done differently, and also use that feedback in future disagreements.

im starting to wonder if this is something we can work on as we learn more about each other, or if this is a situation of true incompatibility?

some specific examples include
-we had plans to hang out, but she had to take photos for something she was working on. i just got off of a 9-10 hour day at work and told her i was considering going to the gym (i have been out for about 6 weeks due to surgery) while she took her photos. she was upset that i didn’t assume that she would want me to go with her and that i mentioned the gym instead, when we already had plans to hang out. i tried to explain my thought process of her taking her photos, me working out, and us hanging out after those two things were done, and it blew up into a bigger argument

-i wasn’t being super touchy/ close to her when hanging out in a group because i didn’t want to be that couple that’s all over each other when they’re with their friends, and this resulted in her distancing herself from me the rest of the day, what felt like blatantly ignoring me, and a huge argument because she felt like i was ignoring her

-i am pretty serious (can remember being told that as a child) and she said it upsets her that i dont play around with her and im too serious

-she is a big talker (which i love about her) and sometimes i zone out without realizing it or dont give meaningful responses to what she is saying, and she has said that it makes her sad when i do this. just not sure how to balance the quiet time i need (whether we’re together or not) with making the time to listen intently to what she wants to share

the emotion that presents when i am overstimulated is anger and i am much better with not exploding now than i was before i met her, but there are times where i dont allow myself the time for proper decompression and everything is just too much and i can be snippy, and she takes it personally.

any advice on how to help better our communication? if you’ve been in a similar situation with your partner, how are things for you now?