people clock my soft voice and just decide im a pushover before i even open my mouth
i've got a naturally soft voice. not weak exactly, just not one of those deep loud voices that makes a room go quiet. and i swear people read it in half a second and file me under "harmless, easy, wont push back". and the annoying thing is they're kind of right, which is what actually bothers me.
im a genuinely warm friendly person, i like being kind, i'd rather get along than fight. always thought that was a good thing. turns out a lot of people dont read kindness as kindness. they read it as a door being left open. like oh he's nice so he wont say anything, so they test it.
grew up in a family where this got wired in deep. saying no was basically not allowed. having an opinion that didnt match everyone elses meant you were the problem. and the manipulation was never out in the open, it was always wrapped in jokes, "cant you take a joke", "dont be so sensitive", that passive aggressive thing where everyone pretends its all normal and youre the weird one for noticing it isnt. so i learned to just swallow it and smile.
now im an adult and saying no still physically catches in my throat. i can feel when someone's stepping on me, i notice it instantly, i just cant make myself do anything about it in the moment. and after, i replay it and feel like an idiot for going along with it again.
so two things im actually wondering. anyone else get treated as weak just for being soft spoken or kind. and for the ones who grew up where saying no wasnt safe, are you actually changing it now as an adult or did you just learn to live with it? . Thanks