r/introvert

Idk personally if there's noone there after I ask a couple of people to go for a movie I go solo

And I have once mentioned this when I was hanging out with my buddies

Their reaction was really surprising

Why is going to the movies alone a taboo concept where people relate this to loneliness and depression

It's like when they hear you go to the movies alone they will say things like whyy did you went alone? Are you okay?

Are you lonely and stuff like this

Actually on the contrary I found this experience much more fulfilling than going with people because there is noone talking in between the movie and you get to enjoy it to the fullest

Idk whether this is only me or you guys relate to it

I recently met a male cousin after many years, and things feel a bit confusing. In family gatherings, he is generally very quiet and reserved, mostly stays with his male cousins and doesn’t talk much to female cousins in general. However, with me, there have been some moments where he seems aware of my presence—like noticing small things, helping with simple gestures, and even asking about me indirectly through other family members. At the same time, in person he often appears awkward or very formal, sometimes only giving basic greetings. I can’t tell if this is just his personality, general shyness, or if there is some curiosity or interest involved. I also feel shy and overthink my own behavior around him, which makes the interaction even more confusing. I’m not sure how to interpret these mixed signals or how I should behave in future family meetings.

I understand schools can receive fake or abusive reviews, but other important institutions face that too. Wouldn’t better moderation make more sense than removing reviews entirely?

Parents also rely on reviews for safety, bullying concerns, infrastructure, fees structure and overall experiences.

How likely can I make that happen?

Hi all, I’d like to run something by you that I’m currently dealing with. If you don’t care, that’s totally understandable, but I’d appreciate any insight you may have. If you reply, I thank you for your time.

Recently, very recently, the light from my phone from an incoming notification filled my bedroom ceiling. I looked at it. It was an old friend who wanted to get together again. Years after I doorslammed that same person because I found the friendship unbearable to carry on my tiny shoulders.

You see, I am an introvert. An extreme introvert. I prefer solitude and spending time doing whatever I please. That usually consists of me listening to music, making a good meal, reading a book, or watching a movie (at the theater). I’ve had several relationships, romantically and platonically, and I’ve burnt out all of them.

People, and I don’t say this with a sense of self-pride, often say they like being with me. That I am a calming presence and that people can rely on me. I offer advice and listen. This is what I feel has attracted narcissists all throughout my adult life. Now, at 33, I am left with no one but myself.

I’m reading a book by a psychiatrist who has built his whole approach to life around being and staying connected to people. That one must be with another to have a sense of purpose. While it’s an interesting book, I don’t feel that way at all.

Juggling connections, doing things I don’t want to do, maintaining and performing in order to keep up appearances, and making sure the other person feels seen and validated is too much work when all it does is leave me drained. Dried up like an old prune.

Now the question is, and I’ve been sitting with this for two days now, should I take the call? Do I need to go out of my way to form connections again? Is the universe guiding me? Or is it alright to just ignore the invite and continue living the most mundane, quiet, and lonely life you never would’ve envisioned for yourself? Not in a bad way, but it is surprising how well that life fits me.

i've got a naturally soft voice. not weak exactly, just not one of those deep loud voices that makes a room go quiet. and i swear people read it in half a second and file me under "harmless, easy, wont push back". and the annoying thing is they're kind of right, which is what actually bothers me.
im a genuinely warm friendly person, i like being kind, i'd rather get along than fight. always thought that was a good thing. turns out a lot of people dont read kindness as kindness. they read it as a door being left open. like oh he's nice so he wont say anything, so they test it.
grew up in a family where this got wired in deep. saying no was basically not allowed. having an opinion that didnt match everyone elses meant you were the problem. and the manipulation was never out in the open, it was always wrapped in jokes, "cant you take a joke", "dont be so sensitive", that passive aggressive thing where everyone pretends its all normal and youre the weird one for noticing it isnt. so i learned to just swallow it and smile.
now im an adult and saying no still physically catches in my throat. i can feel when someone's stepping on me, i notice it instantly, i just cant make myself do anything about it in the moment. and after, i replay it and feel like an idiot for going along with it again.
so two things im actually wondering. anyone else get treated as weak just for being soft spoken or kind. and for the ones who grew up where saying no wasnt safe, are you actually changing it now as an adult or did you just learn to live with it? . Thanks

I drive a truck for a living. The majority of the time, I’m by myself listening to music. I have these two co-workers that call me. I enjoy talking to them. But they seem to want to talk for 2-3 hours at a time. And it’s more than one time a day I don’t mind talking for about an hour/hour and a half. But after that, I’m ready to get off the phone. I know they could spend hours on the phone. I’m just not that kind of person. What is it about us that talkative people always seem gravitate towards us?

Follow up: Any small talk improvement YouTube’s you would recommend?

Mine is rehearsing conversation in my head and then still hoping plans get canceled. Curious what yours is??

I’m a pretty introverted guy and I honestly struggle a lot with talking to strangers unless they approach me first or there’s a real reason to talk.

Most of my friendships happened because people “adopted” me 😅

The problem now is that my current friend circle has become kinda boring. Nobody wants to hang out, do stuff on weekends, travel, try new things, or even just go out randomly. Also, my circle is almost entirely male, so I never really meet new women either. I feel like the best chance of dating someone naturally is through mutual friends, but none of us really have social circles outside our group.

I genuinely want to get out of my comfort zone, meet fun people, have experiences, and actually enjoy my 20s instead of just sitting at home every weekend.

The issue is I’m not rich, so expensive hobbies/clubs/trips aren’t really an option 😄

For people who were in a similar situation:
How did you build a better social life and meet new people on a budget?

I’ve always been more quiet. Some jobs i felt like the most appreciated person cuz the people around me treat me like an actual human being and are curious about me and want to know me which lead to us having a really good time. Other places i felt like I didn’t belong and I would hear talk about despite me actually trying to fit in and join the conversation, which sometimes i feel like I’m awkward or being ignored when i chime in. This has always frustrated me since I was a kid but what I’m feeling now is beyond any feeling I’ve felt before. I now work in a very small team that has a strong clique. I would sit with them, laugh at their jokes but not really participate because most of the time they are gossiping and making fun of people which I absolutely hate. When they are not gossiping they are talking about personal stuff and I feel awkward chiming in and giving my input. We have completely different interests and personalities and I feel uncomfortable opening up about my personal life to people I barely know just to fit in and so the majority of the time I just listen to them and don’t participate. I did try twice to talk about a party I was going to and the person I was speaking to responded with such a cold tone on the two different occasions and was sooooo uninterested which made me so upset. Anyways, it’s very obvious they don’t like me and would even ignore me sometimes. It’s really draining having to work a 9-5 everyday with people like this. They would act nice in front of some of our other colleagues that don’t work directly with us, but once they are out the door they star shredding them to pieces, making comments about their looks, personalities, gestures basically anything and everything. I know they do the same thing to me and this has been making me go crazy since I really tried to fit in, I tried once to crack my shell and join them on lunch and it was so obvious they didn’t want me there, one of them even made a slightly snarky comment about me joining them. Im so sick of this and I’m starting to take it very personally. I come home upset and have been loosing sleep over this, the feeing of being excluded and rejected despite trying is so frustrating, I’ve never felt this upset and heart broken. How do you even deal with this? I’m tired of making an effort and putting on a mask just to end up being met with coldness. My friend told me to just not care about their perception of me, if they don’t like me theres nothing I can do to change it. I agree with this but I find it so hard to not care. Any advice/similar experiences?

hi there, I am an extrovert and expressive person and have friends who run the gamut - various levels of extroversion mostly, a few introverts who I treasure dearly and some ambiverts who share / speak in small groups but will switch to engaged listener mode with more than 3 or 4 people present.

I have a newish family member (in law) who shows no enthusiasm - no hugs, smile, good to see you! welcome! when we visit each other. she sits quietly and has extremely flat affect but is also not on her phone or distracted. she doesn’t ask a single question / inquire how we are doing but will reply with short answers when we ask her questions. she doesn’t express excitement or enthusiasm but will sometimes laugh wryly.

help me understand what is going on? it has become uncomfortable to be around this person because of the complete lack of expressiveness or emotion or warmth. we asked the spouse if we have done something to offend and were told “no keep being yourselves“ but how does one continue when it is entirely one sided and unrewarding? it feels so painful. We have not yet found a magical topic of conversation that lights this person up. what should we do?

My department is small—five people, including myself. They’re all around the same age (late 40’s, early 50’s) and have all been working together for 20+ years, so when I first started here, two years ago in my late 20’s, it was difficult to get into their crowd. They’d always have hour-long conversations, and I really tried to be a part of it, but they never made any real effort to include me and I stopped trying. After that came the comments: “Why are you so quiet? Are you feeling alright? You don’t talk much.”

Despite the fact that I did my work, my boss started to dislike me, and that in turn made the others start to dislike me. I can still feel it now whenever we’re all at our desks, and they’re speaking to each other in hushed whispers; I really try not to look at my phone at all when I’m here because whenever I do, I’ll hear a hushed, “She’s on her phone.” (Mind you, I only ever use my phone to look quickly at the time or glance at my texts. Meanwhile, they will chat for hours at a time). Also, they always go out to lunch with one another, but they do so quietly. Like, all at once they’ll just get up and leave the office without saying anything to me, and then they’ll come back with sandwiches or something. Once in a blue moon, the only man in the group will invite me and I will go, but I can tell they don’t want me to.

This made me start to feel anxious whenever o was at my desk, so I started working elsewhere—in the cafe, in a small conference room, at an empty desk on the other side of the office, etc. I told my boss I was doing this, so it wasn’t a surprise to her. I did this for a few months, and my mental health improved dramatically.

Yesterday, though, she told me during a one-on-one meeting that I wasn’t allowed to do this anymore because “they” didn’t like it. I’m assuming “they” means her. She said that I have to work at my desk because “they” want open collaboration.

So here I am, back at my desk surrounded by my coworkers, who are still going out to lunch without me and having whispered conversations for hours. Aside from the obligatory “good morning,” nobody’s said anything today. So much for “open collaboration.” I’m beginning to think I was ordered back here because my boss enjoys the fact that I can tell nobody likes me. And the thing is, I don’t really know why. I’ve never done anything to them

TLDR: my coworkers dislike me and were making me anxious, so I started working away from my desk and them. Boss didn’t like that, so now I’m back at my desk.

I’m an extrovert and when I meet new people in groups who identify as introverts, what is the most respectful way to initiate an interaction with the person in order to get to know them and connect? Specifically in the environment of a meetup
group. I noticed that I can come across as asking too many questions but if I don’t keep asking the conversation will die out. Is that intentional?

Which skills should I learn in between the timeline of after my cuet exam and going to a college, I am currently teaching in a kindergarten school which has helped me with my hesitation problems, a lil bit in communication, I am a very much of introvert person, I barely talk to anyone irl, I also have anxiety issues while being in public, and as I am going college this year, with these issues I don't think so I can manage my college life. I feel suffocated between people, I can't be in a group, I don't have any kind of social skill and I really want to improve it

am currently studying studying in uni there are many extroverts around me as well as introverts but iam an hardcore introvert from childhood i alternatively made an image in mind my that extroverts are more superior or more loved and are more appreciated than me while there are many situations which made me feel like this from my childhood where i performed more than them in various activities but they got more appreciation from other students than me while i was ignored all the time this even affected me in my college where i think the people who are more socially actively are more superior and most loved than me

i cant remove the image from my mind did anyone deal with this under confidence or self-doubt

this is even making me loose the opportunities in life