u/qshizu

Hi, I am 23yold (F) and I honestly just wanted a place to rant out my thoughts. I have always loved being alone and have quite a few hobbies to do. But despite all of this, recently I have felt really lonely. My IRL friends have relationships and pretty busy with their partners or just moved out from my city. I work a job that I pretty much hate and it really affects me because I feel like speaking to someone during my work hours, but most people I know are busy and I am unsure how to interact with people as my job is remote. I also struggle with anxiety so when it hits me, talking to someone really helps and then I sit realising that I have only one person I could text regarding this and sometimes they are busy and it is totally fine. I do live alone so sometimes that also really hits me in a bad way. I have a habit of being overly attached to a person I would be talking in a span of time and when they are hot and cold with me it makes me feel really anxious and off. So now I am mostly just sitting trying to focus on my hobbies, but I also have like a thought in my head if it will always be like this. I have acquaintances that I see post about going out and just visit so many things that I do not really have the ability to do so. So I just start overthinking everything, although a part of me knows I am still quite young. How can I make this feeling better or just be more okay with being just alone or handling my emotions alone? I have thought about therapy, but it is not an option yet. I am also working on not needing to rely on people as much, but I am unsure how to build more friendships when life feels so closed off.