Dear Dad
My name is Raj (random name for safety). My father is greedy, abusive, and violent. He has committed domestic violence for many years.
When my father was studying, he often tricked my grandfather because my grandfather was a very good-hearted and straightforward person. My father cheated and manipulated him many times. One example was during his graduation in a software-related degree. He did not really like studying or understanding the subject because he used to travel to Ooty and other hill stations and stayed absent for long periods. Later, he told my grandfather that there was no job scope in software and that he wanted to switch to hardware. He also lied by saying that he had failed every company interview.
My father cheated my grandfather again when my grandfather gave him a large amount of money to deposit into his bank account while he was living in Bihar. Instead of depositing the money, my father cheated him and ran away to Mumbai.
Later, when he married my mother, he took dowry. That was also a mistake on my grandmother's side. During the marriage process, my father shouted at my grandmother for no reason. Many people advised her to leave him, but she remained calm and made the wrong decision.
Now, in our current life, we have around ₹30 lakh in loans. People may wonder why we did not stop him or call the police. My mother tried to stop him, but whenever she opposed him, he would stop paying our school fees. In reality, even my fees were paid through loans. He used to say things like, “I do office work, 60 employees work under me, and I know .NET,” to make himself look important.
Another thing is that many of the jobs my father got were arranged through recommendations, family contacts, or people helping him. Even when he attended interviews, he often got opportunities through family relations or someone fixing the job for him rather than through his own efforts. Despite this support, he behaved as if he had achieved everything entirely on his own.
My mother took gold loans and worked as a tutor, teaching children to pay school fees for me and my sister. My sister used to cry during fights and come between us saying, “Mujhe dar lagta hai, Papa aisa mat karo” (“I’m scared, Papa, please don’t do this”). But my father would still grab and pull the hair of my mother and me.
He was very good at acting. Whenever we called someone to help or settle the situation, he would behave so well that people would say, “Your father doesn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. Maybe he is just stressed because of work.”
But the reality was different. His last proper job was in 2020, where he earned around ₹22,000 per month. I was the kind of son who massaged his feet every day and took care of him.
His daily routine was like this: he would wake up around 10 a.m. and reach the office around 11 a.m. or 12 p.m. Before leaving, he would buy two or three packets of lassi and snacks. He would return home around 4 p.m., eat lunch, and sleep for two hours every day. Then he would go back to the office around 6 p.m. Although work ended at 10 p.m., he usually came home around midnight or 1 a.m. because he spent time talking with people in the society, eating dinner with colleagues, or roaming around.
He bought groceries for the house only once every three or four months. Because of that, my mother had to use her tuition income for our clothes, festivals, groceries in small quantities, and travel expenses for me and my sister.
My grandmother used to say that my father should face consequences for his wrong decisions. He always abused and fought in front of children.
From 2020 to 2026, he suffered from sciatica. After losing his job, he worked as a driver and later had an accident where all his ribs were broken. We still took care of him. During that same period, my grandmother died. I did not tell him because I was afraid that if he cried, his broken ribs could worsen his condition and cause internal bleeding.
After recovering, he needed surgery on his thigh. During that period, he had stayed away from home for four months. One of his close friends had a domestic violence case filed against him and was divorced.
I started working in 2024, and until now I have not been able to save even ₹10.
After my father recovered, we convinced him to go to Bihar and sell land so he could repay debts. He received ₹14 lakh from selling the land. But once again, he stabbed us in the back. My mother had already taken gold loans to pay home loan installments. I also paid for overdrafts and home loans. I paid ₹18,427 every month for six months along with other loan payments and expenses.
Now my father says he will only pay one home loan of around ₹10 lakh. When I asked for ₹4 lakh to repay loans, he betrayed me again.
After everything we went through, after taking care of him during his illness, supporting him after accidents, and standing by him even when he hurt us, I feel completely lost now. Till now his credit card loan recovery person comes and says to pay.