Embarrassing 1st sex with phimosis
I never thought that I would’ve have to talk about it like this. The story of how i found my phimosis in a embarrassing way possible. Hello everyone, Im a 20 yo guy. This post is more like a confession and to get some advices. Im an asian guy w a somewhat small penis. Im really insecure and i do overthink about it alot. Im a virgin. I have a gf 21F she had been physical w her ex for over a year and half idk how many times they have done it. The thought of it bothers me till this day. As a virgin and small penis guy i really overthink and am insecure about alot of things. One day i asked her “was his penis bigger than mine?” She hesitated to answer that so i asked “okay was it like really really bigger than mine vastly?” She hesitated more so i knew my answer i got really insecure ever since that day. We even argued over it. She does reassures me saying that “it has nothing to do with her” “she doesn’t really care about those stuffs“ “she loves me as a person” etc. But deep down ik it does matters it bothers me alot i got more open abt it w her then she suggested we should get physical and see how it goes i got tempted and said yes ofc. So yeah as we started getting physical it was feeling really good i was getting turned on and getting super erected. And when it was finally time for me to put it in i got soft no matter how much i tried i wasn’t getting hard at all so we just brushed it off and waited till night… sane thing happened again and she gave me a bj so yeah i got hard again and she suggested me to put it in right away i was super excited and nervous abt it knowing that im finally being able to do it.
And then BOOM my foreskin slipped back as i tried to put it in and the foreskin got stuck behind my tip it hurted alot i barely even get to put it inside. Yet i still tried it kept hurting and the foreskin kept getting stuck . I really had a hard time. I told her it hurts when i try to put it in she sounded a lil sad and disappointed. I was really embarrassed i lay down and told her “im sorry I didn’t know something like this would happen i never knew abt this im really sorry for ruining the mood” as i said that i alrdy started overthinking abt her past sex life and started comparing it. Yet she was really being supportive of it and told me “that its okay it was ur first time neither of us knew that this will happen dont overthink and feel insecure abt this” yet till this day i can’t get over that and everytime i watch porn or try to jerk off by myself i rethink abt that day and regret not finding it out sooner that i had a phimosis.
Yes it was really embarrassing its not just once, we tried 2-3 times but everytime it hurted more and more to the point she got worried as well.
So, this was my embarrassing story of my 1st sex experience with phimosis. Till that day I’ve become more insecure and started overthinking alot more than before. Ik its her past it shouldn’t bother me if i love her,Ik and im working on it as well. But the feelings doesn’t seem to go away. Idk what to do anymore!
Please help me. How to get rid of this feelings? How do i stop thinking abt it? I wanna cure my phimosis without getting circumcised how do i do that? What kind of doctor should i visit or what kind of exercises do i need to do? Im from nepal and the place where i live I’ve never really seen ppls talking abt these stuffs so i have no idea what where how. I’d some research i saw those stretching rings idek where do i buy that how do i ask for it ? Anyone out there reading this please help me.
Ik my English isn’t that good either so forgive me for that.