I feel like i don't belong to anywhere
I grew with a lot of anxiety. I was depending on others. I didn't know it was a problem. I was a good student. But i didn't know how to make friends.
When i reached degree i understood a lot of things like i am supposed to do everything on my own and depending on others started feeling so uncomfortable.
In third year i was less attentive to classes i got bad marks. I slowly started losing confidence.
I somehow graduated. Then i studied a course in data analytics. I got no jobs. Relatives started blaming me calling me lazy. I got a job. I fired in first month. My manager said i was not paying enough attention. I was always tired and it was a tellecaller job. Plus social anxiety caused a lot stress that i could not even get to know my roommates.
I came back after i got fired. And i started studying graphic design online. But now i hate being in home.
For everything i depending on my family. Not a single time i am going outside my house. Severe social anxiety. But staying home feel so uncomfortable depressing. I have no friends here. Neither family go outside. No hanging out, no dining, no trip. Just home. And if i want anything i have to begg them. If we go outside still i feel like a stone. My family discussing about buying new car, future plans and i don't belong there.
And when i wanted to buy a phone i choosed but my brother giving his number his name. Making fun of me everytime. I don't belong here. Nobody loves. My mom freeze when i talk about this issue. My mom is also like this she don't go outside. She also depends on my brother. But she is ok with that.
No friends here to hangout. But my graphic design portfolio is neither conpleted. Day by day this pain getting deeper.
The saddest part is that, i had full a plus in my sslc i got a degree in physics. But failed in life. Now i can't even do the bare minimum