Has anyone given a verbal facepalm to their family member for their unconstitutional/undemocratic behaviour at home?!?
I did that to my “Mama” in my mother’s family group couple of months ago. I abominate that man from the bottom of my heart. He calls himself a meditation expert/IT expert but chooses to be emotionally underdeveloped in his interactions with his wife (maam) and my cousin. I don’t usually check WhatsApp that often. But I happened to see his message about how to make some paneer tofu. So I asked him in that group “Khud try karte hain ya phir maami ko bolte hain ‘aise banao’?”. No response. Just maami chuckled 🫤
Mind you, this beautifully educated man NEVER participates in household chores. He expects his wife to do all of it including serve him his food at the time he expects. Gets agitated when his food isn‘t placed on time because he cannot tolerate that my maami wishes to have her own time and live her own life. This man has been bestowed with a functional brain along with the rest of the body parts and YET he behaves as if he is handicapped. Worse, he has his mother living with them. He barely looks after her. Completely dependent on his wife to take care of her. My grandmother isn’t even her mother lol. She became her mother by LAW. Biologically speaking, it was his sole responsibility to look after his own mother, wasn’t it? I wonder how much my maami has had to tolerate his nonsense.
Couple of days later, this man posts something about how the religion of Muslim is worse because their men abuse women because it‘s written in their book Quran. I got really angry at him because his behaviour demonstrates the same abusive behaviour toward his own wife, being a Hindu! In response, this was what I wrote - “Before shaming others, please learn to rectify your own behaviour. Shaming others to make yourself appear greater in the eyes of people is a sign of poor self-esteem and emotionally under-developed nervous system. You don’t even participate in household chores to ease out your wife’s burden. Gender inequality is pretty evident in our own family. While I understand the ‘whys’ of your behaviour, but choosing NOT to question and rectify it showcases zero integrity.
I implore you to STOP shaming others based on religion, gender etc. First learn to look into your own emotional wounds, become self aware, and learn to hold yourself accountable for your unjustified behaviour. This was to mama. If I seem disrespectful to you, consider me to be “shameless”. I will accept it. I don’t respect elders who misuse their authoritative position and demand respect in return.”
He deleted my message 😂🤭 The persistent pest in me wrote this in that group - “This is called misuse of one’s authoritative power🤭 You’re doing it within the family. A similar scenario plays out at workplace. No difference. Imagine, you are that frightened to listen to the truth, something that was supposed to be deeply questioned and reflected upon. You did neither. Continue with your “meditative session” whilst propagating unequal behaviour.”
Then that man kicked me out 🤡🤭😂🤣 Ghar ki politics - beautiful! I seriously feel like meditation did nothing to up his skills of introspection and accountability. Anyway, I shared this entire incident with my father and he was shocked to read my message and me getting thrown out of the group. Then he was like “beta, he is not even close to you. You did your part. Now leave it. He isn’t important a person”.
Seriously, men and women like this bastard drive me insane and drain my energy. The only silver lining for me is to preserve my mental peace by not engaging with him, given that I am out of the group. Has anyone done it? Doesn’t your blood boil looking at their hypocrisy ?!?!? Or have you stopped doing it?! There are moments when I seriously feel like I would land in jail because of people like him!
I guess it is nothing new to get irritated over.