I know you're still out there, demon.
Trigger warnings for harm towards animals as well as child grooming.
When I was around 8 to 10, this family of three moved in with us. Two parents and their son, I'll just call him J. J was a monster, or rather is in its purest form. The signs were all there, and if he is still alive out there to this day, I can almost guarantee you he is doing despicable things. I know because I was trapped with the hellish things he was already a fan of barely into his teens.
Dismembering small animals, torturing them. You are something less than a human. There is something very, very wrong inside of you. I don't know if it's just how you were born or if it was from something later, but there is something very, very important inside of you that is missing.
I was trapped with you for so long. It felt forever. It was the perfect catastrophe. Two toxic and abusive families coming together to make something truly putrid. I always knew even back then that if you had decided to move up from your flashing and coercing, my mother would do nothing to protect me or stop you. I think you knew that too. I think you knew that your parents were the same. Instigators. Selfish pricks so dead set on ignoring their issues I imagine they'd let you do just about anything if it meant ignoring the kind of "person" their son was.
I know damn well if you had decided to finally have your fun, I'd still be wherever you dumped me right now. No one in that house was ever going to look for me.
What was even worse than all of it? All the things you tried to get me to do for you? All the times you tried to get me alone? What was worse was back then. A big part of me liked you, and it wasn't even from the grooming. It came from a much darker place. A place that existed a long time before you ever snaked your way in to begin with.
You made me feel more normal.
I was already far too aware of sex and sexual things at that age, and your behavior made me feel as if my feelings were normal. You felt like some sort of perverted comrade, I think. I know now how fucked that is, but that's because I'm in my 20's. I'm not a little girl trapped in a physically abusive drug addicts hoarded hell hole anymore.
I never got the chance to learn how to feel about those things properly. Not in the first go around anyway.
I'm never going to get any other parents. The time for that is done. I tried. Fuck I tried.
I tried over and over and over again.
But we all know how cps tends to go.
Now I guess I'll just have to do it myself. Teach myself what is healthy and what is not.
I don't think you can learn. There's something evil in your eyes. There always was. I saw it when you first moved in. You like it.
I don't.