Timelines, finances, biology.. oh my!
I don't want to wait to try for a baby, but there are several things that are not lining up for me and it's devastating. For context, I have been co-raising my 15 year old nephew since he was born. I'm no stranger to the emotional, financial, etc. strains that come with raising a kid. I know how to do it, and I am stronger and wiser now. I'm 35 and my ovarian reserve is that of a 28-30 year old (I've got a lot of eggs!). But I'm also a geneticist and know very well what happens to eggs in late 30s. I started consulting with clinics for egg freezing, but it's going to devastate me financially because my insurance will only cover it if I'm infertile by all other means.
I have a partner, but he's a few years younger, this is his first serious relationship and we've only been together 6 months, we're long-distance (he's moving here in 3-6 months max), and he's not ready. He wants to get married first, which is fine, but I really don't care for marriage. For him, it's a family expectation.
I obviously don't want to push him, so what common ground can we aim for?
My community of women who want to have a kid is now nonexistent, since they all got pregnant or have kids as of last month, so I'm feeling very alone in this (they can't relate anymore). They're also all younger than me, so I'm feeling my age. My biological timeline and financial situation give me a lot of stress. I've saved for egg freezing for the last two years and it's still not enough ($18-20k upfront).
Anyone going through something similar, or have advice/encouragement?